silent shout

Pinoy Big Brother

2005-10-24T05:36:00.000-07:00

hehehe... look at Sam sleeping... isn't he so cute?... aaauuuuwww... hmmm... he can really make me smile... with his cute smile... haaaaay... soooooooo cute!... hehehehe...

bye the way have you seen the nude pics of Chx?... just click this iste and get a glimpse of Chx liberated pose...

http://www.friendster.com/useropen.php?uid=22631256

yeah right, whatever!

2005-10-22T07:17:00.000-07:00

its the third day of this sickness and my grade still isn't upgraded!!.. i don't want to go to manila heavy hearted and in panic mode before i got my clearance!... im not even sure if ill be ok by tuesday... coz mike and mum wouldn't allow me to go to school with a fever!... to hell with this sickness!... oh well... i think i passed all my subjects naman eh... 2 nga lang kami sa thesis!... bad trip... kahit 1.5 man lang sana!...

michael will be here end of october of early november... sana lang eh hwag naman sa undas dahil nagbabalak ang aking amain na either uuwi kami ng zambales or la union... or mag-outing kami sa los baños or batangas... ayoko nga sa batangas eh... though ok yung resort... stepping that place make me itch... ewan ko ba... leche talaga!... sana sa los baños na lang or uwi na lang kami sa zambales... haaaay...

yeah baby!!

2005-10-01T02:00:00.000-07:00

new skin for my bloggy!!!

where the HELL would i go?!

2005-09-04T17:03:00.000-07:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

FCUK!!! that was really scary!...

FLASHNEWS!!!

2005-08-25T13:32:00.000-07:00

dude condolence... i really don't know what to say... i dont know the right words to cheer you up...

ade, cheryl and sa mga saunos dumadalaw sa blog ko... if you have time punta tayo sa loyola... nandun yung ashes si dodskie...

yung nasa news na sunog sa san juan... kela krystal yun... http://www.inq7.net/video/index.htm select nyo yung part 2 sa fist line... mapapanuod nyo yung footage...

pupunta kame nila lyca sa saturday... if you guys want to go...

A lot like love...

2005-08-21T19:15:00.000-07:00

aug 20-21... hehehe...

8 8 8!!!

2005-08-17T02:35:00.000-07:00

8 = i love you

its our 8th month together!... wuhoo!! im so happy!!... happy 8th monthsy pah!...

i love you so much pah!!!

see you on sat!..

HELL WEEK

2005-08-09T19:25:00.000-07:00

1st day of preliminary exam.. my 1st exam was World Literature... the play of Agamemnon and his death and that Oedipus Rex really rumbled every cell of my brain... though it was an easy exam... but every word is rumbling in front of my two flashlights... i can cheat if i want to, but i prefer using my stocked knowledge... i didn't studied that much last night... instead, i watched tv until 2am and woke up at 8:30... mayber that's another reason why my head is aching... and i felt a little dizzy on the way to school... the very irritating thing about commuting is having a seatmate with a very unpleasant perfume.. demn!... amuy sampaguita!.. sobrang nakakahilo!!.... i keep on applying alcohol on my hand, and sniffing it, instead of sniffing that weird smell...

after the exam which only lasted for 1 hour... i pampered myself with all my cravings... i oredered a mango frost bites at kenny rogers... then ate an order of soft taco with lotsa cheese in front of the dapitan gate, at the side of Burger King.. and bought P20 worth of fried squid dipped in vinegar with lotsa onions and siling labuyo... yum,yum!!... then i decided to go home early... WTF!!! JENG?! GOIN HOME EARLY?! SINCE WHEN?!... hehehe... at the Park n' Ride just when i was about to get in the bus... i bought a Zagu Creme Brulee Grande with extra crystals... but that was just because of my literature prelims... what more tomorrow... my exams for tomorrow are Experimental Psychology and Ethics... 3:30-8:30 exam... WOW!!! as in WOW!!!

hmm... i dont know what'll happen tomorrow... but for now, i have to study 6 chapters of my psychology book... and another 6 chapters of my ethics book... demn!... sleep!! I NEED TO SLEEP!!!

Moribund

2005-08-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

last night i encountered a nightmare... may humahabol daw saken... isang malaking lalake... then sobrang takbo daw talaga ako, as in i can't hardly breathe na talaga... i stopped and looked if the guy was still chasing me... then someone pushed me, i didn't saw her face clearly but she looks very familiar... i fell down and im really losing my breath... when i stood up, i felt a lighter feeling... but when i looked back, i saw myself lifeless... (parang yung sa movie ng "the grudge 2") then i was shouting but no one hears me... i cant even hear myself... i was crying so hard seeing myself being carried to the funeral... then change of scene... i saw myself lying inside a black coffin... i was crying and thought of michael... he didn't know im already dead... i saw my cellular phone ringing and nobody's even answering it... 1st call was from a number not listed in my phonebook... next was from michael... he was calling for the Nth time... but still nobody's noticing it... i was just crying trying to grab my fon, but my ghostly hands just cant... i know i was crying not because i was dead... but i was crying because michael was unaware that im already dead...

its a very weird dream because, its very detailed... as in... but that's all i can remember from what i've dreamt last night...

anu kaya meaning ng panaginip na toh... hopefully not a bad omen...

CATER TO MY MAN...

2005-08-02T16:55:00.000-07:00

i want to give you my breath, my strength, my will to be here

that's the least i can do,

let me cater to you

through the good good

the bad through the bad

the ups and downs ups and downs

i'll still be here for you

let me cater to you

cause you're beautiful you're beautiful

i love the way you are you are

fulfill your every desire desire

your wish is my command command

i want to cater to my man your heart your heart

so pure your love shines through shines through

the darkness we'll get through so much

so much of me is you is you

i want to cater to my man

this one is for the man i choose to live with... FOREVER...

I LOVE YOU MICHAEL...

glass detained for 11 years

2005-07-20T01:06:00.000-07:00

i was headed for school when i stepped on wet floor... then i saw my fishes panicking inside the aquarium... i thought im going to lose batik, polka & jaja yesterday... the glue on the side of my aquarium just got off and the water spilled out the sides.. i was crying for help when my dad came and saw me panicking...

im gonna be late for class if i stay and help my dad... so he said that he'll just fix my aquarium... when i got home.. i will be seeing my babies swimming again...

i just dont know what will happen to me if my babies died due to that glue thing... baka mabasag ko pa ng tuluyan yung aquarium na yun... hehehe... brattness!!!

tibo's night out...

2005-07-16T03:38:00.000-07:00

last night, tintin, ate val and i went out... ala lang... biglaang plano lang... we wnt to racks el pueblo to watch the menaya play... and nandun pala ang hale... kasama nila...

at first i thought di ako makikilala ng band members... una nakakilala saken si aying... hehehe... then si julius... ayun... usap usap... tapos tumugtog na sila...

*saan, kailan tayo magkikita? hindi na ba, pwedeng pagbigyan ang hiling ng puso kong sawi?*

una nilang kinanta yung "pagbalik" pinaka-love ko sa songs nila... coz of that line... and ganda nung drums dun sa pre-chorus part (yung line sa taas^) nakakatuwa talaga kase ang saya-saya... galeng talaga nila...

their album entitled run will be out in the market on aug 8... anniv ng band... sobrang speechless talaga ako until now... isn't it obvious... gusto ko talaga sila... hehehehe...

back to tintin's situation... kaya sya nakapagyayang uminom bigla... ay dahil ang kanyang magaling na boyfriend ay nagloloko... hypothetically speaking pa lang naman... di pa kame sure... pero ikaw ba hindi ka magtataka... bf mo may bagong account sa friendster ang nakalagay na status eh "single"... basta all about singlehood... take note... di pa puno yung 1st account nya ha... as in... nasa 100+ pa lang yung nasa friends list nya... haaaay... boys talaga... pakatino kayong lahat...

case of reality..

2005-07-07T15:17:00.000-07:00

~*i hope you remember me

as the girl who always smile

even when her heart is broken

and the one who could always brighten up your day

even if she couldn't brighten up her own...*~

im just a girl...

2005-06-30T12:50:00.000-07:00

i thought i can totally say goodbye to my first love... but i just cant.. now that a lot of opportunities are up ahead... scholarship, achievements, incentives and fame...

last night louie (from gawi) talked to me and asked me when will i get back to the group (salinggawi).. i said... im really not sure... coz eversince i had my tummy operated... i accepted my fate that, that is the end of my dancing career... but he told me its not too late for me to change my mind...

i asked my mom about it... and she said... if my doctor allow me to, she will allow me too... i thought michael will be mad if he knew about this... at first yes he did... he told me that i was getting out of the plan... but i dont get the point... we're still getting married next year... i talked to him again... and explain what im feeling towards this issue... and finally he let me join the group again... but same as my mom... i have to consult my doctor first... so that's what im gonna do tonight...

i thought i will be satisfied with an ordinary student life... but i guess i will never will... coz im an abnormal person who likes to make things complicated... i will dance again... and i will prove to everyone that im not the bitchy girl they know... i will dance again... I WILL DANCE AGAIN!!!

**jeng's achilles' heel is dancing... when i thought it was him..."

back to the street with the boys...

2005-06-28T15:41:00.000-07:00

hehehe... i watched "myx presents" this morning and realized that i was really a big fan of the backstreetboys back in elementary... memorized all their songs... know lotsa stuffs about them.. as in adik talaga... hahaha...

nakakatuwa lang kase... kabisabo ko pa yung mga songs nila... actually sila talaga yung first boyband nung time ko... sumikat sila 1995... they started their career 1994 when nick carter was only 13 years old... oh my gosh... alam ko talaga di ba?... hehehe... nakakatuwa talaga...

hehehe ala lang natuwa lang talaga ako... pramis...

rainy days & saturdays!?!

2005-06-26T10:17:00.000-07:00

kumusta naman sa nakauwe ng 12:30 am?!... hehehe...

totoo nga... history repeats itself...

yesterday... it was actually fine when i got to school at around 4:30pm to attend my class... 5-7pm... kumusta naman sa sked di ba?... the weather was quite fine... i didn't even expect that it would rain... hahaha... at around 6:30... biglang bumuhos yung ulan... so everyone in the class started worrying... knowing espana becomes a river kapag umuulan ng malakas... at ayun nga... the prof dismissed us 5 minutes before 7pm... eh di medyo madali na lahat ng tao sa paglabas ng school... pero hinde jan nagtatapos ang lahat... sa harap pa lang ng AB... huwow!!! salamat sa baha... abot na sa gutter yung tubeg... eh di freak out lahat ng mga stranded students... hinde malaman kung paano makakauwe... nakakatuwa lang kase i thought to myslef.. ok lang... makakasabay ko si "tatay" (friend ko from baste) pauwe... pero hinde ren ok... kase 8:30 na hinde pa ren humuhupa yung baha... so in short... stranded talaga ang exact description samen... *wawa*

pero at around 9:45... i decided... i have to go home... dahil pag nagpagabe pa ako... mas mahihirapan ako sumakay ng bus... at possible pa na maubusan ako ng bus pauwe... eh di nagmaganda ang babaita... nung humupa na ng konti yung baha sa harap ng building namen... sumugod na kame nung friend ko... si bongbong... only to find out na ilog nang maituturing ang espana... as in lubog na talaga yung mga sasakyan... oh duh buh?!... pero since nasa espana na ako... naglakad na ako papuntang morayta... dahil sa pagkakaalam ko... malalim talaga sa espana and sa may bandang morayta... ala ng baha... so lakad ako... sa may bandang p.noval... sobrang iwas ako sa "baha waves" na dulot ng mga bus na dumadaan... kase medyo matino pa hitsura ko compare dun sa mga taong lumusong na talaga sa baha... i was still dry... pagtawid ko ng p. noval... biglang nag-wave yung water... sa sobrang iwas ko dun sa baha... lumusot yung paa ko sa lubak na may imbak na tubig... so kumusta naman sa basang paa... na-bratt ako kaya nilublob ko na ren yung isang paa ko...

then tuloy ako ng lakad... sa may morayta... i saw tatay... so i shouted at him... tapos ayun... sabay na kame... we decided to take the lrt at doroteo jose station... so nilakad namen mula morayta hanggang doroteo jose station... take note... BAHA!! hanggang tuhod!!! only to know na hinde nag-ooperate yung lrt... oh duh buh?! san ka pa?!... so lakad ulet kame... papuntang lawton... sa avenida kame dumaan... while walking... narealized ko na dun pala kame naglalakad sa madilim na part ng avenida naglalakad... kase naglipana na ang mga prosti... as in literal na nagbebentahan ng laman... merun pa nga nagmamakaawa na pumayag sa P100 deal... heheeh... asteeeeg... then tatay held my arm "baket ba kase tayo dito sa dilim naglalakad? hehehe"... sobrang kakatuwa talaga...

so lakad lang kame ng lakad... he was holding my arm while walking... pakiramdam ko tuloy lola ako... hehehe... tapos nakarating naman kame ng lawton ng maaliwalas... tapos ayun... merun na dun fx papuntang buendia... eh di sakay na kame... at ayun... sakay na kame ng bus... sobrang nakakatuwa yung experience... coz its my first time na sumulong sa baha na naka-uniform... imagine that!... basta masaya... tawa lang kame ng tawa ni tatay...

masaya yung experience... thankful lang ako dahil nakita ko si tatay... or else... naglakad ako mag-isa... at malake pa ang posibilidad na na-snatch-an ako, na-hold-up... or anything... even baka nahulog pa ako sa manhole... ala pa naman akong sense of balance that day... hehehe...

yun lang... share ko lang... kaya kayo jan na panggabe ang mga sked... magdala na kayo ng slippers tsaka payong!!... hehehe...

signing off

2005-06-22T17:45:00.000-07:00

i thought giving up my dancing career will be the last resort to the worst problem im facing now... financial matters and my life(michael)... but i dont have a choice... i know all of you know that my first love is dancing and i said never would i give it up for anything and anyone... but maybe its just not meant to be my profession or something... i just came to the point that i must choose... or i will lose my degree and my beloved... and i finally made up my mind... im saying goodbye to my first love...

i love my boyfriend so much... and i cant accept the fact that i will lose him just because of my dream... when all my life all i was dreaming was to be in the arms of my one true love... watching our kids grow and grow old knowing i got him by my side...

goodbye DANCE... ill never forget all my dancing memories... all the achievements i gained... and all the friends i met in the name of dance...

today, the 22nd of June is my last dance....
for all those who watched...
for all those who supported me on my 11 years of dancing...
thank you so much...

this is maestra jengay... signing off...

first day phunk?!!

2005-06-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

astiig ang first days of classes ko... kaya sya first days is because 1 subject a day lang ako... nyahaha... pag friday 2 subjects pala... hihihi... at ang maganda jan lahat panggabe... wow!! heheeh... derecho gimik!!! ang kinasaya dyan... 2 lang halos ang pressured prof namen... sa psych at thesis... prof talaga yung nakakapressure eh... pramis!!... harharhar... the rest ok na... eh anu lang ba mga subjects ko ngayon

mon - classical literature 3-6pm
wed - ethics 6-9pm
fri - developmental communication and socio-cultural change (basta yun na yun) 3-6pm
- experimental psychology 6-9pm
sat - thesis writing 5-7pm

gandang sked duh buh?!... hehehehe!!...

at syempre... may remembrance agad... papa-awat pa ba ako?...

tha's bong-bong... ang aking school bud!...

the trip

2005-05-29T19:16:00.000-07:00

we came from bohol last wednesday... but didn't have enough time to update my blog... i still dont have the pictures with me, dont have the money to have it developed *ang mahal kase!!!... argh!!* it was a great vacation... the chocolate hills were really amazing... and my babies are so cute... the tarsiers... they're even smaller than my fist... imagine how small my hand is... hihi... i got small hands... ask LT... hihihi... oh well... it was a great plane ride... kakatakot lang kase sobrang cloudy... and our plane need to go up and down para lang iwasan yung makakapal na clouds... hmmm... it was tiring coz we got 6 baggage... imagine when we went to bohol, my mom and i only got 2 bags, but when we went home we already got 6... hehe... oh well... kase yung tita ko dame gifts for the family... kaya ayun... dame namen dala pauwe.. puro towels & blankets... shoes, chocolates and stuffs... masaya... as in masaya yung bohol... kahit walang signal ang suncell dun... at globe & smart lang ang merun... ok lang... kase they gave me lod to txt michael...

may basketball team pala kame dun... Sabado Angels... sikat sila sa Sierra Bullones... yes... bundok dun... as in literally speaking "BUNDOK"... the players were fine... though i barely talk to them... hirap kase sila managalog... nakakausap ko lang sila saglet lang... kulitan lang... merun pa nga putol yung right arm nya... pero shooter... as in 3-pointer... asteeeg... nung pauwe na kame... they kept saying happy trip, ingat, god bless tapos biglang hirit ng happy birthday, merry christmas then penge naman ng number mo... then my cuzin brent (10 years old who doesn't speak tagalog nor bisaya) told them "her boyfriend dont allow her to give his number to anybody..." hihihi... oh di ba?... may gwardya ako... and ayun... punta na kame sa airport...

la vaccacion dos

2005-05-19T04:07:00.000-07:00

tonight... we will be going to the airport to fetch my aunt... then maybe have a little snack... and wait for our flight tomorrow morning... we will be flying to bohol to have a five days vacation... actually it's supposed to be until the end of the month but i backed out of the plan... coz my man will be in manila by the end of this month and he's goin' to be in our house...

i dont know why im not feeling any excitement of going to bohol... it will be my first time to ride a plane, yet im not excited... maybe ill feel that, the moment i stepped on the plane... hehehe... probinsyana!!!(that's what my boss at NU used to call me!) harharhar...

hmm... since ill be going to bohol... im not sure if i can visit any site... or even touch a computer coz we might be too busy touring the area... hihi... before it was a "sick leave" now its gonna be a "vacation leave"...

adios... hasta el jueves de vente seiz de mayo...

monthsy #5

2005-05-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

uh yeah... its our 5th month together... uhm... not together per se... but our heart's are one... hihihi... ang landi... harhar... the best day of the month 17... haaay... anu pa ba ang gift namen for each other since magkalayo kame... eh di............ boses ng isa't isa... 3 hours of.... you know... hah!... talking... hehehe... and... more... hmmm... kelangan ko pa ba sabihin?... ehe di naglambingan kame for 3 hours... hehehe... i really love my man... lungkot lang ako kase yung anak namen, kasama ng stepmom nya sa leyte... and i miss my son... (angkinin daw ba!?) well... dame na nameng plans ni michael... after graduation we will start living together in bataan, to be with our son... then after a month we will get married... then after another month... we'll be back here in manila to find work... or maybe start a business here... haaay... sarap magplano... hmmm... ala na ako masabe... pagod ako dahil sa pakikipag-usap sa asawa ko eh... naubos boses ko kakatawa... hehehe...

i never knew that a lot of people love the number 17!!! hahaha... dame gaya gaya... harharhar... pero naisip ko... lahat ng naging bf ko laging may connection sa fave number ko... which is 3 & 17... (kaya nga misstr3z_17 eh...) 1st bf ko august 17... then feb 3, then march 17, then oct 3, tapos jan 3, then june 3, then sept 3 and my husband... december 17... imagine... kame ni michael hinde ko sinasadya na both connected to 3 & 17... nagpropose sya dec 16... nagaaway pa nga kame nun kase nagpropose sya eh.. then i realized i felt the same way for him... i texted him back to tell him na mahal ko na ren sya... after sending the SMS, im quite drunk at that time, i glanced at the clock and it was 3am of the Dec 17!!! oh di ba... ang galeng!!! hahaha... we were planning to get married either 3 or 8... haaay... mahal na mahal ko talaga tong dambuhalang ituh!!!

la vacacion!!

2005-05-08T19:50:00.000-07:00

sa wakas at nakapagbakasyon den ako!!! kanina... bigla lang... napagtripan lang ng family na magswimming... actually kahapon... pero ala pa kameng venue... so drive lang kame ng drive not knowing where to go... bale ako, dad, mom, kuya, ate, ate luz(soon to be hipag), mitch & junjun(friends ni ate)... sobrang drive lang kame ng drive sa los baños... first stop namen makiling highlands... dame tao kaya lipat kame... napadpad kame sa splash mountain... grabe... instead na ma-refresh kame... lalo kame nainitan... nanognog pa ako... hinde naman ganun kainit yung araw, yung tubig ang sobrang init... kulang na lang kape... pwede na pang-kape... nyahaha... so we add up to what we paid, para makapasok kame dun sa may slides... at first excited pa ako... hinde kase ganun kataas yung mga slides... tama lang... first yung may floaters tapos yung walang floaters... so ok lang... then bigla nagyaya sila ate dun sa mas mataas... grabe... tumigil ang puso ko for 5 seconds i guess... katakot as in 37 degrees yata yung slide na yun... pero masaya... sabe nga ni kuya... alam na daw nya kung sinu yung nag-slide dahil sa sigaw... ehe... ingay ko daw... eh release lang naman eh... nyahaha... masaya sobrang masaya... hehe... yun nga lang naghihirap ako sa sunburn... ang pula pula ng ilong ko... inis!!! pero ok lang at least enjoy... nyahaha... next destination ko is bohol. on the 20th of may... oh di ba... literal na bakasyon ang magaganap... but first, need to finish all my OJT stuffs... demn!!! ala pa pala ako band for friday!!! demn talaga... uhm... lamko meron akong makabuluhang sasabihin eh... pero dahil sa excitement dahil sa mga pangyayari nagyong araw, nakalimutan ko... nyahaha... till then...

its all about us, girlfriends!!!

2005-05-07T23:15:00.000-07:00

globe girlfriends held at clubsixfifty libis... it was quite well... i just dont like the task assigned to me... stay at the registration booth and wait for girls to register... sobrang init ng araw.... pero mas gugustuhin ko na yun, kesa naman ma-incubate sa loob ng gym... grabe... ngayon alam ko na ang nafi-feel ng mga sisiw na 45 days... as in ganun talaga kainit... pero ok naman... kase... spongecola & kitchie nadal ang nagperform... at syempre ang lolah nyo tuwang tuwa... kase pinatulong ako sa pagasikaso sa mga bands... first to perform was spongecola... when they arrived, si baby gosh agad ang bumungad saken with a very cute smile... then chris, armo & yael...kakatuwa sila kase, ang cute nila... ewan ko... basta nakakatuwa sila... then kitchie arrived... she was really demn pretty... as in... cute pa ng make-up nya... tapos... ayun... after the performance, nagpapicture ako with spongecola... and these were the photos...

kulet ng performance nila... at the usual... lunes, una, klsp and jeepney ang kinanta nila... after they performed... kitchie went on stage... she sang... same ground, wag na wag mong sasabihin and bulong... the performance of the two band was great... kahit na alam kong init na init na sila with the temperature of the venue and all the lights that's playing on-stage... those guys really did great... after kitchie performed, i went backstage and ask kung pwede kame pa-picture... then she said sa labas na lang kase hinde na nya kaya yung init... she was catching her breath... labas kame and i was the first to have a pic with her... and this was it...

hmmm... i really love them... it was so tiring for me that day... pero sobrang sulit naman cause of them... saya lang... as in saya... ^_^ im just wonderin' kung kelan mauulet... ehe...

yun lang... i love gosh & kitch!!!

NU 107 live @ Hard Rock

2005-04-29T20:18:00.000-07:00

watch out for this upcoming band called MENAYA!!! their great... and nice people too... especially their manager, tita day... their songs are also good... their album will be out Aug 2005...

just got this pic from their friendster... natuwa lang ako...

from left: julius drums, brian vocals, aying lead guitar, burn bass

mah burthdeigh!!!

2005-04-28T20:58:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

2005-04-28T06:08:00.000-07:00

this one's a very memorable day for me... although there's a lot of work to be done at the office, it was still ok... masaya kase... before i went home... dj andy (mah fav'rite dj) greeted me on air.. she's really funny... but i love that gurl... she's so great...

michael gave me a morning/birthday kiss when i woke up... (of course... san pa ba?... sa text lang noh!... ehe...) actually the best gift i have ever received this day is the good news michael told me... he'll be going to manila this sunday or monday... and he'll be staying for 2-3 months... wuhooo!!! im gonna be with my baby for a long time... hmmm... 2-3 months is really long... how i wish its already saturday...

till here for now... got to rest for the hardrock gig tomorrow...

SHEBANG BABY!!!

2005-04-24T18:30:00.000-07:00

april 22... i arrived at the office at 6:50 in the morning... we arrived at island cove, cavite by lunch time... i know it will be a hard day for us... but it was really good... we had our heavy lunch of sugpo and tahong... as in... hinde ko na inisip yung allergies ko, coz the food was really great... it was really a tiring day for us... walking under the sun... carrying those heavy and hot SMB, PLDT at rexona streamers... then back to work... t'was going quite easy, coz the sun was already setting... we had our dinner but i wasn't able to enjoy it, coz one of the volunteer spilled water to my rice... i had no choice but to eat the fish and talong without rice... so medyo gutom ako... bumili na lang ako ng anything tinapay near... but it was ok... pagod pagod na ren kase lahat.. ala ng sense of balance... back to the hotel room... it was really chillin... after taking a quick shower... and finishing the task my boss told me to do.. i plunged into the covers of my bed... coz it was really cold... the temperature of the room was already at its lowest...

april 23, 5am... i woke up and took a real long bath... then we headed for the concert area... continued the work and finished it before 2pm... it was really hot... and its hard to work if the sun is burning you... hinde na nga pantay yung kulay ko eh... nognog na nga lalu pa nasunog... argh!...pero ok lang... the concert started at 4pm... ka-tribo kolektib do the front-act... it was a great performance... although i was not able to watch them... coz i was at the entrance giving away rexona and close-up samplers... dame ko nga nakuha eh... bale 20+ na rexona and 10+ na closeup... nyahaha... then punta na ako sa backstage... the jeepney joyride was the first to arrive at the concert are... then citric maple... they were really cool... kulet nung mga citric maple... then the shitty sugarfree arrived... their manager really pissed us off last thursday night... masyado silang ma-inarte... bwisit talaga!!!... as in... biruin mo ba naman ipa-usog ng 1 hour later yung departure nila sa NU station, kasi daw masyadong maaga for their call time for island cove... bwisit talaga... buti na lang naayos namen.. kase mababaet naman yung ibang bands and naintindihan nila yung ganung klaseng provblems... then... hinde ko na alam yung mga dumating... i was too busy... Kapatid was a real performer... they really rock!!! as in... karl roy was really awesome!... and so as The Dawn... ala talagang kupas...

then the band i was waiting for arrived... SPONGECOLA!!!! as in... nagulat ako... kase galeng ako sa likod ng concert area checking out the sales of NU 107 Supersize rock album... pagdating ko dun sa may speaker... nandun na si yael and chris... harhar... yael smiled... isa lang ang nasabe ko sa mga kasama ko "can i die now?!..." may saket nga siya eh... kaya hinde sya masyado makulet... then nakausap ko si chris... ala lang... mga stuffs lang about kitch&maya concert... then i saw armo and gosh... armo was really cute but a really shy person... as in ngiti lang sya ng ngiti... pero may konting kulet den... then gosh asked me kung san daw nya pwede i-claim yung beer nya... so i escorted him kung saan... then ayun... yun na start ng really long conversation namen... i wasn't able to get a picture with them... kase bawal... pag nakita ako ng boss ko... boljak ako... so ayun... siguro 30 minutes den kame magkausap ni gosh about anything... about their next album... their next vid... kulitan lang... he's sweet, makulet... we were talking mouth to ear, kasi naman, tumabi daw ba sa speakers... then he introduced me to yael, chris and armo... dun kame sa gilid ng stage... sa tabi ng speakers nagkukulitan... pero saglet lang... kase bumalik na si yael sa backstage, he's really not feeling well... gosh and i were playing guessing game, kung anu yung tutugtugin nila... sabe ko... "basta lunes ang first song, last ang jeepney, tama?..." natawa sya... sabe nya... "haha... alam mo na talaga noh?"... kukulitan lang kame... as in kwento kwento... tapos basta nagkaron kame ng bet... about sa paramita band... kase we're are not aware of the group... so bet kame kung gurl or guy yung vocalist... ako guy, sya gurl... ang price yung beer stub ko... pag panalo ako, ibibigay nya beer stub ko kay armo... pag panalo sya... kanya beer stub ko... habang tumutugtog paramita, silip kame and found out na gurl yung vocalist!!! take note drummer/vocalist pa yung gurl!!!... as in ang asteeeg... so back sa kulitan... pero sabe nya, if i want an autograph from yael he'll get me.. sabe ko baket kay yael lang... dapat sa kanilang lahat... then iniwan ko muna sya saglet to do my work... then after menaya performed, i went to the backstage to fetch spongecola... ayun... they were really great... first song was lunes then una then i forgot and lastly jeepney... they were really great... after they performed, i went to the backstage... i had my production pass autographed first was yael, then gosh, then chris and lastly armo... yael recognized me as misstr3z sa mailing list... then gosh, i told gosh... "anu ba yan, alang pangalan ko..." tapos tinuro nya..."ayan kaya, kanina ko pa sinulat... kaw talaga jeng jeng jeng..." as in... then kay chris... he just signed my ID... darn... then kay armo... sabe ko sa kanya... "lagay mo erwin..." tapos tumawa sya... "armo na lang..." then before they leave, gosh gave me a goodbye wave... and gave me that cute smile... i just realized... sa band... sya yung pinaka-approachable... hahaha... tapos ayun... the left, since yael wasn't feeling well...

moyg band was also a cute band... they asked me kung what time daw sila makakauwe... so inasikaso ko muna yun... after that... i told them that the van was already there waiting for them... they gave me their signature sticker... ang cute nga eh... harhar... try ko i-scan then ill upload it here... even sponge's sign...

the concert ended at around 12:30am... natapos yung engress mga 1:20am... nakaales kame sa island cove ng 2:30am... sinundo ako nila ate and kuya sa may ayala... and we arrived home at 3:15am... asteeg nga eh... sobrang tulin namen.... as in 120kph... nakuha namen ang ayala-bahay ng 14 minutes lang... as in!!...

ang nakaka-touch pa kagabe... michael stayed awake until i arrived home... as in, kahit di ko sya maasikaso during the concert proper... he was there texting me... so kahit papanu nagrereply ako hangga't kaya... the whole trip home, magkausap pa kame... i was begging him to sleep but the more, i ask him... nagagalet lang sya... so pinabayaan ko na lang sya sa gusto nya... ang sweet noh... haaay... nakakawala ng pagod yung ganung alam mong you've got someone who loves you more than you can ever think of... tama na nagse-senti na naman ako eh... harhar... i consumed 43 hours and 40 minutes sa ojt ko... imagine 1 week lang... naka-100:40 hours na ako... 99:20 hours na lang kulang ko... hahahaha... makakasama ako sa bohol!!! as in!!! nyahahaha...

just a few thoughts...

2005-04-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

chasing OJT

last night i went to my doctor for my final check-up... after the check-up, he told me that i can go back to my OJT... but i must not abuse myself... baka daw bumuka yung tahi... so i texted my boss right away... she told me that she's looking forward to see me again at the office... grabe... sobrang baet talaga ng boss ko... grabe... saya talaga...

monthsy

today, michael and i are celebrating our 4th month together... uhm... not actually together... una, sinalubong namen yung 12 midnight... kakatuwa... kase every month iba ibang way ng pagcelebrate ang ginagawa namen... although 1st and 3rd monthsy lang kame magkasama... pero basta... ang saya saya ko lang... kakatuwa... kase parang kelan lang... nag-aaway pa kame kase he proposed to me... tapos ngayon... kahit magkalayo, hinde mapaghiwalay... haaay... i love him so much... sobrang thankful talaga ako na after all those bruises and cuts my heart got from my previous relationships... i already found someone who healed these wounds... hmmm... teka senti na naman ako... kakatuwa lang ngayong araw... puro happy thoughts... kanina... 2 hours na naman kame magkausap... kulitan, reminisce, lambingan... but 2 hours dont seem to be enough... maybe even eternity is not enough... at the age of 20, i found a man who thinks mature enough for his age... he thinks like a 35 years old man with responsibilities... i really love this man and i wont let anything nor anybody get in between us...

love you pahkuuw...

the dead has risen....

2005-04-12T23:40:00.000-07:00

a lot happened for the past few weeks... since the last time i updated my baby...

i started my OJT sa NU last march 29... t'was kind of easy for the first day... kaharap ko red pentel pen at mga production pass for the Sundown Session and Himaya.. then pinagawa ako ng mga performance agreement for the bands... ok naman... mababaet naman mga tao dun... especially the DJ's... kakatuwa sila... at syempre at ubod ng daldal nameng boss na si sir Cris... to sum it all... ok naman... dame ko natutunan on my 1st day..

march 30... i was really suffering from lower abdomen pain... since i still have my period... i thought dysmenorrhea lang... so work pa ren ako... on the way home, sa bus... sobrang saket na talaga... nung lower abdomen... as in iyak talaga ako sa bus... the guy beside me keeps asking if im ok... i arrived home at 8pm and told my mom that my lower abdomen is killing me... pinagalitan pa nga ako kasi ligo daw ako ng ligo ng malamig, eh may period ako... and the pain continued to kill me... hanggang sa buong tyan na talaga yung masaket saken that i cant even stand straight and walk... i called out for my dad... sabe ko "de, hinde ko na po kaya... dalhin nyo na po ako sa ospital..." he asked me to get ready... but when i was about to put on my pants... na-blurred na yung paningin ko, then i walked slowly to my dad (with just my pink panties!!!) then i fainted... nagkamalay ako nsa emergency room na ako... and the doctors sucks!!! dame nilang ginawang tests... urine, stool, platelet count, even pregnancy test... wow, i just got my period, idiots!!! (pero protocoal daw nila yun eh, pag lower abdomen ang masaket, dapat i-pregnancy test) then they decided (my dad and the stupid doctors) na i-confine na ako for observation... at ayun... but the pain still kills me...

the worst day of my life.. they told me, my appendix will kill me, if i dont undergo an operation... april 1... ililipat na dapat ako sa UST Hospital, eh kaso when they about to put me on the stretcher, nag-chill na ako... and my mom was crying... kala nya mamamatay na daw ako... sobrang pale na daw talaga ng kulay ko... and i was burning with fever... 42 yata temperature ko that time... then my mom decided na dito na lang ako sa laguna operahan... pinasok ako sa operating room 9:10am... pero comedy ang naganap sa operation ko...

first... i was lying there and i saw the tiny lights hanging in frnt of me... i just said to myself "this is it... mababawasan na ako ng laman-loob..." then a nurse got my right arm, told me na kukunan na raw nya ako ng blood pressure... napa-idlip ako, dala na ren siguro ng anesthesia... then another nurse got my left hand and put something... para yata sa pulse yun... eh biglang nangati ilong ko... im a right-handed person so i first lift my right hand t find out na inayos na pala nila yung kamay ko, at hinde ko na matatanggal... i found my left arm free so i lift it to scratch my nose... pero mabigat yung nilagay nung nurse... and when i finally reached my nose, i cried a big "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" the nurse approached me and ask me if my tummy aches... i said.. "hinde yun... nabagsakan ako..." then inayos na nya yung kamay ko... i found myself both arm incapable of scratching my nose again... and yun... tuluyan na akong nakatulog..

i was 110 lbs before the operation... and now im fucking 96lbs... damn... pero im all ok na... hopefully makabalik na ako sa work ko sa NU... i miss all the noise and laughter sa office...

sa mga nagparamdam when i was at the hospital... salamat... thank you for the concern...

see you around guys!!!

NU 107!!

2005-03-12T14:40:00.000-08:00

last night when i got home... my dad told me that someone from NU 107 called and asked me to report to their office on march 12(which is today) for an interview, before 11 am... i passed my resume last wednesday...

i arrived at NU at around 10am (hinde naman ako masyadong excited di ba?) then pagdating ko dun... nandun ang mayonnaise.. at nagkukulitan sa lobby... they were singing "i want it that way" by backstreet boys... ang kukulet.. tapos dumating si kiko(sir kiko pala) yung guitarist ng the dawn.. then miss emilyn came.. i didn't that it was her... akala ko tipong formal-formalan... si hinde ko talaga inisip na sya na yun.. tapos she approached me.. then the interview cam after... nakakatuwa sya mag-interview... although i admit na the whole time she was asking me all those questions, nanlalamig talaga yung kamay ko.. actually buong katawan ko... ang dami dami nyang kinuwento saken about the trainees she handled before.. then she told me what i was not expecting... kasi sobrang layo naman talaga ng laman ng resume ko sa pinag-applyan ko... "welcome to NU 107"... as in... at that very moment... gusto kong sumigaw... wow para akong nanalo ng 1 million... hehe... i always wanted to have my on the job training sa NU... sa events... at ayun... events nga ako... harhar... saya... sobra... tapos whlie she was welcoming me.... sir kiko came... at ayun... nakikipagkulitan na... sobrang saya lang talaga.... although may nabuking ako about kay michael... later ko na ikukwento... or some other day... ayusin muna namen yung problem..

yun muna... and thanks sa mga palaging dumadalaw sa journal ko...

whew!!

2005-03-06T01:29:00.000-08:00

all my 4th year subjects are already done... the film has been showed yesterday... then our senior adquest has been done yesterday... it was a very toxic day for saunos... but i think we just got what we deserve..

sa film... 1.75 lang kame... pero ok lang... at least i did not play the role of the lesbian filmmaker with all of those "making out scenes"... then... sa adquest naman... best female presentor lang ang nakuha namen... pero ok lang... bad trip lang talaga yung aries na yun... lecheng prof yun... but we're not bitter about the results... pakshet lang talaga yung kalbong yun...

after this really tiring day... nagdinner kameng magkakaklase sa "the pit" the food is quite delicious... i just oredered baked ziti and iced tea... after having a smoke outside the resto... balek ako sa loob to see that some of my classmates are already starting to drink... so i oredered a 350ml red horse... *hinde kasi ako sanay sa ibang beer eh* tapos ayun... ok naman...

SAUNOS PEOPLE MAHAL KO KAYO!!
hinde ko alam kung anu tong nararamdaman kong sadness... maybe i'll just miss my classmates for 2 years... i've been with them for the longest time of my college life... ang nakakainis pa don... kung kelan naman naging ka-close ko na ang karamihan sa kanila... bigla pang natapos... sobrang bitin... next schoolyear... panibagong pakikisama na naman ang magaganap sa'meng dalawa ni bongbong... pero at least... nakilala namen ang ca4 batch 2001-2005... ang pinakamasayang class na nasalihan namen... sa ca1 na nakaka-intimidate pumasok... sa ca2 na kanya-kanyang siraan... at sa ca3 na puro kaplastikan ang alam sa ibang section... the best talaga ang ca4... kahit nagkakandahirap ka na sa dami ng gastos... nanjan si ron para manlibre... teka may utang nga pala saken yun... oh well... sa puyat... anjan si krystal laging handang magbigay ng yosi... sa lungkot... nanjan ang mga clowns ng klase na sina jerik, fionchers, sam, kasama ng iba pang mga kaklase... sa kopyahan... si albert ang kailangang laging bantayan pagdating sa exams, siguradong magkakasagot ka... sa mga tawanan... nangunguna dyan si tintin at bongbong... palakasan ng tawa ang magaganap... sa presidente namen na si drei... although alam kong sya ang pinakanangangarag everytime nginangarag sya ng mga prof... still manages to be responsible for the whole class... sa mga tahimik sa class pero may katuturan kausap... si cheryl, benj, fionna... sa amplified voice ni lora... ang operatic voice ni niki yarte...sina nicolai at ingrid na malaki ang future sa pagaartista... si krystal na future filmmaker... si ade na future editor... si patricia na ice cream buddy ko... si aubrey na kasangga ko sa spongecola... si rei na minsan kasabay ko umuwe... si ron na naging partner ko sa first bedscene act ko... haaay... sobrang mamimiss ko kayong lahat... ang kakikayan nila claudette at ingrid... ang outspoken person na si hanna... si lady's choice, cheddar cheese... haaay... ang samahan ng mga pretty na sila cherry, pat, kate, joy at cathy... ang mga henyong si jihan, benj at hazel... si yung mga makukulet na banat ni emem... the gypsy gurl ninay... ang dating kalaban sa puso ni yaiba... na ngayo'y pagmamay-ari na nya na si germie... hmmm... confusing... basta yun na yun... mamimiss ko lahat ng mga pinagsamahan naten... lungkot, saya, pagod, gastos, puyat, awayan, tarayan, pressures at lahat ng kangaragang nag-eexist sa mundong ibabaw... SAUNOS win or lose, it's the section i choose!!! SAUNOS PEOPLE, mahal na mahal ko kayo... walang kalimutan...

denied truth

2005-02-23T18:00:00.000-08:00

characters:
kwek - merienda buddy ko
twister - a guy with a girlfriend
i - syempre the main character!!!

november 29, friday, livre concert at UST... i invited two of my friends to watch the said concert... lets call them kwek & twister... at first... twister said that he wasn't sure if he' ll be able to come... while kwek was already with me at school... we went to recto to eat "kanto foods" (tuknene, fishballs, etc.) while talking to twister on my suncellular fon... then finally he said he will come... pero male-late daw sya...

the concert started while we were waiting for twister... we (kwek and i) were sitting somewhere sa UST field... then twister texted na nasa UST na raw sya... so i get up my seat to find him around the campus... nalibot ko na yung buong field... i asked him kung anu mga landmarks yung nakikita nya... so i could find him... and hwag syang aalis sa pwesto nya... then he said na meron daw fountain... nasa fountain of wisdom pala sya... then the concert goes on... magkasama na kaming tatlo... lumipat kame ng ibang place to hear the music clearly... then kwek said that he have to leave early... pero he must firs see spongecola and imago perform... medyo nagdidikit na yung mga balat namen ni twister... napansin ko... medyo close na kame... at si kwek naman eh may sariling mundo na pinapakielaman yung celfon ni twister...

the twister asked me... "hindi mo ba ako igagala dito sa school mo?..." sabe ko "sure why not"... then iniwan namen si kwek na magpaka-autistic dun sa pav... lakad lakad kame ni twister... daan kame ng lovers lane... then he told me na dalhin ko daw sya sa building ko para daw alam nya... the next time he will see me... so i did... napansin ko na lang... naglalakad na kame na magka-holding-hands... then i thought... "may girlfriend tong taong toh ah!!!... flirt?" then balik na kame dun sa pav... natuwa ako... kasi tinataboy na nya si kwek... i mean tinataboy na pala namen si kwek para umuwi na... ewan basta... merong something yung gabing yun... then umales na si kwek...

habang nag-aabang kame ng jeep papuntang edsa... we were like... you know couple... some of my classmates saw us... then sakay na kame ng jeep... then hinatid nya ako sa edsa... hanggang sa nakasakay na ako ng bus... before ako sumakay ng bus we kissed goodbye... he even told me na nag-enjoy daw sya that night... lalu na kung ala si kwek...

pagdating ko sa bahay... we planned to meet on monday... november 29... supposedly... manonood dapat kame ng performance ni kitchie nadal sa mayric's... sunday when i got the news na cancelled daw yung performance ni kitchie... so we changed the plan... magmi-meet na lang kame sa glorietta... then bahala na kung anung maisipan... sabe nya meet kame ng 5pm...

november 29, monday... t'was raining cats and dogs that day... but tuloy pa ren yung pagkikita namen... i arrived at glorietta at around 5:15 pm... hiya nga ako... coz i thought nandun na sya... but when i got there... ala akong nakitang twister... dun kame sa activity center dapat magmi-meet... so i waited... kasi baka kako nahirapan sumakay kasi lakas ng ulan... kaya ako... ayun... hintay... text sya and try to call... but still no reply... 5:30 na... ala pa reng reply... so sabi ko... pag 6pm ala pa ren sya... uuwi na ako... imagine... pinalampas ko yung family reunion namen... just to spend that day with him... pakshet talaga!!! 6pm na... at ala pa ren sya... pagtayong-pagtayo ko... my fon beeped... and t'was him... saying na... wait ko lang daw sya... kasi nahirapan sya sumakay... dahil baha daw sa labas ng bahay nila... at hinde ren daw sya nakapagdala ng payong the day before lumuwas sya ng manila... kaya... ok... sige... absuwelto... he arrived at around 7pm... oh di ba?... ang galeng... 5pm ang usapan... dumating sya 7pm... steeeg... kapal ng mukha!!! oh well back to what i was saying... ayun... we were walking hold hands... then kaen kame sa mcdo... hindi talaga ako sanay na guy lang ang taya pagdating sa ganun... so medyo ilang ako... we both oredered twister fries... (kaya nga twister code name nya eh) tapos ayun... after namen kumaen... lakad lakad kame... as in lakad lakad lang... but if you could only see us that night... you would think that we're couple... i must admit... nawala ako sa katinuan nun... hindi ko na naisip na may girlfriend nga pala tong lalakeng toh... baket ba ako nandito?... baket ko sya kayakap?... baket ko sya kahawak-kamay?... blangko na ang isip ko that time... basta nage-enjoy lang ako na kasama sya... nag-stay kame sa timezone... pero hindi naman kame naglaro... nandun lang kame... magkausap... then her gurl called... but he didn't answer his fon... instead he turn off his fon... he was attempting to kiss on the lips... but i tried to fight the feeling of kissing him... iniiwas ko yung lips ko... everytime na may chance... but the feeling is just too strong... and ayun... we kissed... pero smack lang... his lips are so soft... but after that... i felt guilt wrapped all over me... damn!!! what the fuck!!! may girlfriend yang lalaking kayakap mo.... kahalikan mo... hwag mong totohanin na mistress ka nga!!! pero ala akong nagawa kundi magpatangay sa agos ng aking nararamdaman... then uwe na ako... pinasakay nya ako sa edsa ng bus... medyo natagalan kame kase ang dameng tao na naghihintay den ng masasakyan...

i dont have an idea na yun na pala ang huli nameng beses na magkikita at magkakausap... the last text i recieved from him is "ikaw ba aabuso dun or ako? hmmm... nasa ortigas na me."... then ala na... as in... NONE!!!... at first i tried to cantact him to clear things up... to tell him na nadala lang ako ng feelings ko that night... and let's just forget all that happened... but... he didn't replied to any of my messages... he didn't answer my calls... i decided to call it quits when he finally cancelled my call... nakakabad-trip... guguluhin mo buhay ko... tapos gaganyanin mo ako... to hell with you!!! hanggang nagyon... everytime i will hear his name from our common friends... isa lang ang nasasabi ko... "pakshet... don't say bad words"... hindi naman sa bitter ako... its just that wala kasi syang bayag na panindigan yung ginawa nya... if he only cleared things up... eh di sana wala kaming samaan ng loob... ok lang sana if he told me na... "sorry ha... miss ko lang kasi yung girlfriend ko kasi she's far eh..." di ba?... such an idiot... well... i really dont have plans on publishing this one... nabadtrip lang ako sa taong yun... such a dick!!!

*lammu kung sino ka...

du di du...

2005-02-15T22:23:00.000-08:00

michael and i chatted for 2 hours 7 minutes and 36 seconds... straight... nagagawa nga naman ng sun oo... techniques... naituro ko na tong technique na toh sa ibang friends ko na mabait saken... but for those who act bitchy towards me... well... harhar... manigas kayo sa inggit...

actually... after those 2 days of work... ngayon lang ulet kame nagkaroon ng time to talk that long... magtatayo na kasi sya ng business nya... kaya ayun... sobrang busy-busyhan... while i was also busy sa paggawa ng thesis at advertising campaign... nagkasabay-sabay pa nga lahat...

first draft of thesis
flim production (wherein i will play the role of a lesbian... at may bedscene na naman... this time with a girl... lebian nga eh..)
advertising campaign
senior and junior adquest
spanish presentation
public relation quest
presentation on literature "don quixote"

damn... galet yata samen mga prof namen... as in... yung mga presentation... meron next week... meron den 1st week ng march... yung mga quest 1st week ng march... yung film... 1st week ng march... yung campaign 1st week den ng march... at yung thesis NEXT WEEK!!! waaaaaaaah!!! how about that... kumusta naman sa hagard duh buh?!!! lech!!! buti na lang nandyan ni mikoy... haaay... kahet papanu nawawal pagod ko pag naririnig ko boses nya... kahit na minsan pinapagalitan nya ako kase hinde na ako nakakakaen...

hmmm... gusto ko ng sweets!!! go nuts donuts!!! harhar...

happy valentines!

2005-02-14T15:17:00.000-08:00

unexpected call

today is love day... not only for those who have someone to spend this day with... but for all the people who have love in their hearts... at 12:59 pm... while i was in the bus... conversing with michael, i recieved an incoming call... the number is not saved in my phonebook so i told michael to hang up so i could answer the other line... knowing it was something important... then i was stunned to hear a very familiar voice...

meeh: hello?... sinu toh?...
jepoy: hey jeng!!! happy valentine's day
meeh: sinu nga toh?..
jepoy: jepoy.
meeh: jepoy?...
jepoy: oh god, nakalimutan na nya ako...
meeh: jepoy as in jeffrey?... ramirez?... lyceum?... basketball?...
jepoy: yup it is me... bebeh ko dati... how are you na?
meeh: ok naman... kaw?..
jepoy: syempre ok na ok... tatawag ba ako kung hinde?...
meeh: anu naman nakain mo at tinawagan mo ako?...
jepoy: naalala lang kita... and syempre... lammo na................................na-miss...
meeh: ngyak... at syempre ganun talaga ang entrada di ba?!... haha...
jepoy: haha... baka sakali lang... san ka?
meeh: nasa bus... sa tapat ng cityhall... kasalukuyang tinatahak yung tarfic papasok sa class... baket?...
jepoy: wala lang... kala ko wala ka na class... papasok ka pa lang pala...
meeh: baket nga?...
jepoy: wala lang... tinatanong ko lang... dito kasi ako sa school... wait ng prof... til what time class mo today?...
meeh: til 2pm lang... tapos tambay siguro... pero aga ren ako uwe...
jepoy: ah ok... til 7pm pa kasi ako... napaka-ungentlemanly naman kung yayain kita... tapos paghihintayin kita...
meeh: ngyak... what makes you think na sasama ako?... harhar... joke...
jepoy: ganun... anu ba sked mo?... maybe we can go out some time...
meeh: busy kasi ako til march eh... kasi thesis... teka... number mo ba tong gamet mo?...
jepoy: nope... sa friend ko... nakigamit lang ako... kasi lamko sun ka na... mas makakausap kita ng matagal...
meeh: ngyak... ganun... haay naku jepoy... ginagamitan mo na naman ako nga mga stilo mo... haha...
jepoy: baket?... hindi na ba effective?... tsaka baket parang ilang ka na kausap ako?...
meeh: ala lang... gulat lang ako... hinde ko ine-expect na tatawag ka...
jepoy: naalala lang kita... you were the first person i thought when i woke up this morning... hindi ko alam kung baket...
meeh: ah eh... jeff... bababa na po ako... got to hurry... kasi late na ako... next time na lang ulet ha?... thanks for the call... and the greeting...
jepoy: oh ok... ingat ka bebeh ko dati... i miss you... (then whisper) so much... *kala nya hindi ko narinig yun ha...
meeh: okies... bye... ingat ka ren...

i never really expected a call from him... its been quite a while... but he came at the wrong time... mali pagpaparamdam nya... although maganda yung timing nya... kase valentine's day... pero kase... may michael na ako eh... mahal na mahal ko si michael... nalipat na lahat ng pagmamahal na ipinundar ko para kay jepoy... na kay michael na lahat yun... pero baket ganun... ngayun na ba nagkakatotoo yung hula?... hindi lang ba ako marunong maghintay?... haaay... hindi ko alam kung baket ganito yung nararamdaman ko... maybe... na-excite lang ako... haaay... baket kase... haaay naku talaga...

happy valentine's day po sa lahat!!! umwaaah!!!

treasured piece

2005-02-10T17:20:00.000-08:00

harhar... isa po ituh sa mga memories na iniwan saken ni kitchie... i know there's a lot more... nyahaha... to follow yung mga pics... harhar...

a day with luke mejares

2005-02-10T16:53:00.000-08:00

last year, february 6, 2004... nagback-up dancer kame kay luke mejares when he performed dito sa uste... katuwa lang kase sobrang approachable nya... and maloko syang tao... so in short... nagkaroon kame ng bonding that night...

after almost a year... last february 4, during the RX Cheering Competition... Luke again was there... he was looking at me... then finally he asked me... "know what?, you really look familiar... are you from UST?..." and the conversation went on... kakatuwa nga kasi... all the time he was waiting for his turn to perform on stage... nagkukulitan lang kame...

tapos ayun na nga... nagpeperform na sya... he was singing burn when my cheermates made me go onstage to sing with luke... ANU BUR!!! SA MEGAMALL!!! IN FRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE!!!... as in... pero saya naman... coz while he was singing naka-angkla sya saken... while the UST crowd go crazy... nyahaha... exxageration... harhar... well after that... while he was singing... i was holding a camfon... at syempre... nagpicture kame sa harap ng ganun karameng tao... ako nga yata yung pinakamatagal na nag-stay sa stage eh... eh panu... naka-akbay si luke... alangan namang tanggalin ko... in front of those people... nyahaha...

tapos kinanta na nya finally yung "rock your body" the one he performed with us last year... ginawa naman nya... lumapit sa sa crowd... i mean sa UST crowd... he held me up again to dance and sing with him... when this gurl from PLM (pamantasan ng lungsod ng maynila) approached us and gusto yata gumawa ng eksena... she started making faces tapos tini-tease nya si luke... habang nagdi-dirty dance kame ni luke... palapit yung gurl... akala nya siguro lalapitan sya ni luke... but no... nyahaha... in short napahiya sya... he even kissed me sa may eyebrow after the number... and told me to see him backstage... oh di ba?... ang taray ng lolah mo... nyahaha...

after nun... nasa backstage na kame... we were just having a conversation... kulitan and cheverlu... dame namen pictures together... kaso hinde ko pa naa-upload... sometime next week siguro... yun lang pow...

harhar... i still cant forget the face of that bitch from PLM... nyahaha... nagmukha syang tanga when she tried to get luke's attention...

happy birthday my baby!!

2005-02-08T01:03:00.000-08:00

birthday ngayon ng aking mahal na asawa... at... down ang SUN CELL... kainez!!! vhaad trip!!!

pero nakausap ko na sya kanina... nabati ko na at na-kiss ko na ren... (sa cel nga lang...)

haaay... bwiset na globe and smart kase yan... hinde kase nila matapatan yung 24/7 ng sun... kaya ayun... nagma-asim... gusto ipatigil yung 24/7 ng sun...

compilation of events

2005-02-07T17:20:00.000-08:00

current events

5 in the morning while in the bus headed for school para sa competition ng cheering at 11am... nagulat ako sa init na naramdaman ko sa window... then nung hinawi ko yung kurtina... yung universal bakery sa san pedro nasusunog... as in... the one in the news... i really cant believe what my eyes is seeing... nakakatakot... kasi sobrang lake nung sunog... at sa sobrang lake ng sunog... isang truck lang ng bumbero yung nandun... sobrang bad trip!!! tapos nalaman ko na lang... 3 yung namatay dun sa incident... grabe...

cheermania

we placed 2nd... pero ok lang... at least na-perform ko ng maayos yung tosses ko... ang tataas nung hagis nila saken... ikaw ba naman ang uminon lang ng gatorade at kumaen ng chocolate for 3 days... sinu namang hinde gagaan nun... hehe... ok lang... tanggap ko na 2nd lang kame... kesa naman manalo yung mga taga-cfad(college of fine arts and design) na nagmistulang public school na jologs na ewan na sobrang yabang... na puro yabang... argh!!! kainez talaga... laglagan naman lahat ng pyramid nila... unlike us... it was really a tough fight for us (faculty of arts and letters) against the college of education... puro kase yabang yung mga taga-cfad... kainez... kahit nung mga praktis... kaya ayun... nung competition proper... laglagan lahat ng pyramid and toss nila... may lumabas pasa kanila na naka-stretcher...

baket ngayon pa?!

since last night i am suffering from a really high fever... but i have no choice but to continue practicing for today's competition... ok lang... minsan na lang naman toh... pero nagalet si kel... kasi boses bading na daw ako... dahil sa saket ko... eh nakuha ko pa raw magpa-toss... pero tampo lang naman sya eh... ok na kame... hmmm... good to hear that i have michael... marinig ko lang boses nya ok na ako... sya yung nag-iisang medicine ko eh... kaya mahal na mahal ko sya...

at syempre kay michael na naman nagtapos ang update na ituh... nyahaha...

prendster peeps!!! im coming back!!! EB!!! EB!!! nyahaha!!!

he's back!!!

2005-02-04T08:17:00.000-08:00

may husband's back... tanggap na nya na its already done... that we have to move on from the unwanted incident... and he's finally back... pero may mga times na nada-down pa ren sya... but we're coping up... haaay... saya ko lang...

competition na namen mamaya sa megamall... i doubt na mananalo kame... sobrang madalian kase yung praktis namen... pero ok lang...

i just love my michael...

there's always the first time

2005-02-02T01:33:00.000-08:00

first time naming mag-away ni kel... akala ko end of the world na... nagkaroon kasi kame ng confessions... and yun... at first ang hirap tanggapin ng past nya... pero lahat yun tinanggap ko ng isang lunok lang... tapos kinalimutan ko na ren para makapag-survive yung relationship namen... ok naman... sobrang hiyang-hiya sya sa mga katarantaduhan nya before... lahat... ultimo kaluluwa nya pinagkatiwala nya saken... but when it was my turn... nagalet sya... both... saken at sa sarili nya... sa sarili nya... kasi wala daw sya nagawa nung nangyare yung nightmare na yun... saken... kasi baket daw hinde ko sinabi agad sa kanya... baket ko daw pinatagal pa... baket daw pinabayaan ko lang...

eto kasi yung nangyare... nagturo kame ng sayaw nung ex (itago naten sya sa pangalang AG) ko... that was between december to january... tapos nung january 6... nag-edit kame ng cheering music for siena college taytay... nandun kame sa room nya... at first ok naman... kasi close naman ako sa family nya... akala nga nila when they saw me... nagkabalikan na kame... kasi inaakbayan nya ako.. pero sobrang... i swear... tinatanggal ko talaga yung kamay nya sa balikat ko... i even confessed to his family na may boyfriend na ako... tapos ayun... we were editing the music in his room when he attempted to rape me... as in... sa sobrang takot ko... sumigaw na lang ako ng sobrang lakas to catch his mom's attention... and yun naman ang nangyare... dumating yung mom nya... pinagalitan sya... i was crying at that time... tapos sinabi na lang na hwag na palabasin yung issue na yun... kaya ayun... nagkasundo kame na hinde na kame magkakaroon ng any contact... so binura na namen yung mga contact numbers...

galet na galet saken si michael... as in sobrang... natakot ako kasi he was cursing his self... and threatening me na magpapakamatay daw sya... sobrang hinde ko alam ang gagawen ko... pero we need to settle things down... papalipasin ko na muna yung tension... haaay... ayokong manumbat but... i dont think he's not being fair to me... kung tutuusin... mas malala yung confessions nya... pero tinanggap ko lahat yun ng buong buo... pero sya... haaay... sana maayos na namen toh... sa lalong madaling panahon...

chicksie meets kitchie!!

2005-02-01T07:46:00.000-08:00

last night was really amazing... until now... hinde ako makapaniwala na nahawakan ko talaga yung hand ni kitchie... as in... she was so pretty... and yes... kinda weird... but still I LOVE HER!!! hmmm... anu nga ba ang mga nangyare...

kahapon sa training... at around 8pm hinde na ako makapagconcentrate dahil gusto ko nang makita si kitchie... kaya ayun... nalaglag ang lolah mo sa pyramid... ay... toss pala yun... as in... nauna na naman yung ulo ko... at isa na ako ngayong walking bruise... hmmm... then after the praktis for the RX Cheering competition... punta na kame nung friend ko sa Mayric's...

nung una nagulat ako... kasi bumungad agad saken si carlo aquino... he smiled... he was waiting for his turn sa labas ng mayric's... sobrang puno yung bar kagabe... hinde na ren kame nakapasok... so we waited outside... finally... my pretty gurl stepped out of the bar... wearing a white shirt, denim pants and a pair of sandals with her gypsy body bag... haaay... at first nahiya kameng lumapet nung friend ko... pero sabe ko... hinde pwede... kelangan makapagpa-picture kame or kahit autograph man lang... so ayun... lapet agad ako sa kanya... 2nd ako sa napirmahan... she looked at me nung inabot ko yung celfon ko for her to sign... then she smiled... sobrang... pramis... namatay ako ng 3 seconds!!! sobra... as in... tapos... ayun... she was holding my fon which is in my hand... so in short... hawak nya yung kamay ko.!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaahh!!! lalu akong namatay... tapos... eh di andun na ako sa tabi nya di ba... nakatingin lang ako sa kanya... tapos ayun... may mga guys na sinisiksik ako just to get a picture of kitchie... at ayun... ang lolah mo... lalung napalapit sa pwesto ni kitchie... as in braso to braso kame... bwisit nga yung bouncer eh... kasi hinaharang nya yung mga tao... eh nandun na ako sa tabi ni kitchie... yung braso nya sakto dun sa boobies kong wala... habang ang mga braso namen ni kitchie eh magkadikit... grabe... adik na ituh!!! haha...

we followed her even after her show sa mayric's... 11pm na kase sya lumabas... she was with barbie... sinundan namen sya sa car... well... the car she used last night wasn't really hers... sabe ni barbie ha... kasi merong isang guy na kinuhanan yung plate number nung car... it was WNM 177... haha... ala lang... black na civic yun... haaay... i still cant believe na nakita at nahawakan ko sya... hinde kame nakapagpapicture with kitchie... pero dame namen shots sa kanya... haha...

yun lang po... uhm... next time... spongecola naman!!!... wuhooo!!!

together... at last!!!

2005-01-20T17:40:00.000-08:00

all my bags are packed, i'm ready to go
the dawn is breaking, its early morn
the taxi's waiting, its blowing its horn
already im so lonesome i could die...
coz im leaving on a ferry,
i dont know when ill be back again
oh babe i hate to go...

nagkita kame sa may ccp... kasi dun sya sasakay ng ferry pabalek sa bataan... saglet lang kame magkasama... pero tama nga yun mga predictions nya... at the first hour... its all the about the missing issue... then the 2nd hour... nagkukulitan na... the next hour medyo seryoso and the lastly iyakan...

ang laking tao talaga ni kel... hanggang dibdib lang nya ako... kaya sarap yakapin eh... kaya lang hirap i-kiss... ang taas ng face nya eh... kaya sya kumikiss saken... hahaha... may pasa ako sa magkabilang braso dahil sa panggigigil ng mahal ko... as in nilamukos nya yung braso ko... pati bilbil ko nilamutak... bastos na batang yun... nyahaha... ganun kame mag-usap ni kel... minsan aakalain mong hinde ame mag-asawa dahil para kameng magkabarkada lang.. nagbabatukan... nagkukulitan... haaaay... mahal ko talaga sya... totoo na itoh... i finally got tired of the games...

i just love the feeling of hugging him real tight.. kissing him... haaay... kelan kaya ulet kame magkikita... pero kahit saglit lang kame magkasama... iba pa ren talaga yung saya kasi mahal mo yung kasama mo... wala na akong kaya pang pakawalan... basta sobrang masaya lang ako na nakasama ko si michael... lalu ko syang minahal... i already found myself in him... i found a friend, a lover and someone i can spend the rest of my life... someone i can build a family with... tutal may bahay na kame sa bataan... ehe... oh di ba.. talagang nagsalita ako ng tapos... ehe... actually hindi na ako nagi-isip ng mga bagay na hindi maganda tungkol sa mangyayare samen sa future... dahil sa ngayon... sigurado na ako sa nararamdaman ko... mahal ko si michael... and i wont do anything that would lead us to part... tama ba ang grammar ko?... nyahaha... basta mahal na mahal ko sya... tapos...

nandito sya!!!

2005-01-19T16:08:00.000-08:00

nandito sya sa manila!!!

as in nandito sya sa manila... kasi hinde kame makakapag-meet kasi magpapa-eye-check-up sya eh... sad noh... pero ok lang... bukas kame magkakasama... haaay... cant wait for tomorrow... i just love that guy so much!!! haaay... kanina pa kame magkausap sa fon... everytime na break ko sa exams at nagtatanggal ng stress sa utak... haaay... ang sarap talaga pag alam mong malapit lang sayo ang mahal mo...

pero hindi makatarungan ang araw na itoh... dalawa ang prelims ko... rational psychology tsaka public relation management... nakakatunaw ng utak pramis.. puro essay... waaaaaaaaaaaaahh!!! buti na lang after the exams narinig ko ang boses ng aking pinakamamahal na mister... haaay... ang sarap talagang mabuhay!!!

ewan ko lang kung hinde ako pumasa... pagkatapos kong gumising ng maaga para mag-aral... grabe 3 hours lang ang tulog ko kaya hanggang ngayon eh lumulutang pa ren ang utak ko... pramis... feeling ko naka-isang box ako ng marlboro red... as in... haaay... buti na lang talaga at adik ako sa mister ko... hinde na ako nag-smoke... i mean sobrang light na ako mag-smoke... as in... once a week na lang halos...

hmmm... anu pa ba... nag-miscol si ex... haha... ala lang... wa epek... as in... wait lang... as i can remember... 1 year na kameng naghiwalay ni jepoy... hindi ko makakalimutan yun kasi after ng fiesta ng tondo yun eh... hahaha... ala lang naalala ko lang... haaay... memories... nakakatuwa talagang magbalik-tanaw sa nakaraan... lalu na pag comedy... nyahaha... yun lang naman... i just love myself today... i love michael... i love his son... i love my friends... i love everybody!!!

PRELIMS!!!

2005-01-19T15:17:00.000-08:00

huwaw!!! as in... patayan ba itoh?... makatarungan bang dalawang malupet na subject ang pagsabayin?!!! rational psychology at public relation management?!!! nakanangpotah!!

kahapon hinde ako masyado nakatulog dahil sa hindi mawaring dahilan... gising lang ako... si in short... sa loob ng tatlong araw that is 72 hours... 3 hours lang ang tinulog ko... huwaw!!! asteg... kaya nga lumulutang ang utak ko ngayon... kasi... habang nag-aaral ako... katext ko pa nga si ne0 eh... ayun... at around 11:30 nakatulog ako... nagising ako 2:30 na... syempre... nagpanic ang lolah mo at nag-aral na kaagad...

eto nga lang ang nakakabwiset sa exam namen... since my prof in psychology is a doctorate... at sinabi ren naman nya na esay ang exam... syempre hinde ako masyado nag-memorize di ba?... instead... inintinde ko lang yung mga nasa book and yung notes ko... nung humarap na saken yung test questionnaire... isang malutong na "NAKANANGPOTAH!!!" 10 questions... 2 lang ang essay... lahat enumeration... as in... alam mo yung pinagkapuyatan mo tapos bibigyan ka ng enumeration?!!! pakshet talaga!!! pumasomk ka pa ng maaga... nag-kape sa 7/11... para lang buhayin ang dugo mo... tapos biglang... ENUMERATION!!! as in sobrang dali!!! pramis... kahit siguro hinde ako nag-aral at nagpakapuyat eh masasagutan ko yun... as in!! pramis... nakakapikon talaga!!!

12-1 yung rational psychology namen... 2-3 naman yun PR management... sa PR naman dun na tuluyang natunaw ang utak ko... 5 essay sa loob ng isang oras... kumusta naman di ba?... pakshet talaga... 2 question lang ang nasagutan ko ng tama... yung enumerate and define... tapos yung 3 hulahoops na lang... pahshet talaga... as in!!!

at dahil dyan... uuwe na ako para makatulog... dahil bukas eh magkikita kame ng pinakamamahal kong si john michael go... babushki!!!

1st month

2005-01-17T06:32:00.000-08:00

wuhoo!!!

today... michael and i are celebrating our first month together!!! well... not literally together... but in this relationship together... oh ha... may explanation talaga... hirap talaga pag long-distance-relationship... haaay... pero thankful pa ren ako at nakasurvive kameng dalawa... sabi nya sa wednesday daw baka lumuwas sya ng manila para patignan yung eyes nya... kaso baka hinde ren kame makapagmeet kasi... may exam ako... tapos may training pa... sana ala na lang kame training...

hmmm... after a whole month long of sweetness, tampuhan, away, at kung anu-anu pang mga bagay... heto... nakatayo kaming dalawa... magkahawak kamay na haharapin ang mga pagsubok na pagdadaanan namen...

pero ngayon pa lang... nafi-feel ko na ang hirap magkaroon ng intsik sa pamilya... haaay... ang hirap i-explain... pero basta nahihirapan ako... pero alam ko na makakayanan ko naman kahit papano... nasa 1st month pa lang kame... meron pa akong 2 years para magtimpi... kasi after two years... bubukod na kame... wow... plans... sana matupad... hehehe...

sa loob ng isang buwang pagsasama namen... ang dame na nameng nabuong mga pangarap... sana lang talaga matupad lahat yun... kasi siya na yung gusto kong makasama... as in... totoo na to... kahit ako nagulat sa sarili ko... when i woke up this morning... totoo ba toh.. nakatagal ako ng isang buwan?... as in... after jepoy... ala na akong naging matinong relasyon... maraming naguluhan sa rollercoaster ng lovelife ko... dahil halos every week eh may bago akong boylet...

totoo nga yata ang kasabihan na lahat ng katangian ng anak... namana sa magulang... babaero dad ko before... pero ngayon hindi na... yata?... tapos ako naman binansagan ng ate ko na lalakero.. oh di ba... ang panget pakinggan... pero yun yung totoo eh...

as i was watching "the sweetest thing" yesterday... i realized one thing... that the movie is my story... i just got tired of playing the game... and finally settled down... haaay... mahal na mahal ko talaga sya... pero baket ngayon eh parang naguguluhan ako... dahil ba sa new found friend ko... pero hindi ren eh... i just see him as a friend... sana yun lang... at hindi na lumala... kasi ayoko nang mawala pa si michael saken... yun lang... im just so happy that our relationship is growing beautiful each day...

LOVE KO 'TOH!!!

2005-01-02T05:07:00.000-08:00

at long last... nakita ko na ang mister ko... if you want to see my hubby... punta kayo sa friendster ko... both account... andun s7ya... andun den yung babay nya... na soon to be baby ko na ren... nyahaha... ala lang... saya ko lang... while writing this down... kausap ko sya ngayon at haha... nagtatampo dahil hinde ko nasagot yung tawag nya... (mantakin mo ba namang tumawag habang nasa klase ako!!!) malamang!!! ehe... yun lang muna... i just love him... and it grows... haha...

napi nu yir!!!

2005-01-01T03:57:00.000-08:00

i started my day crying... having a knife with my hand... hwag magisip ng kung anu-anu... naghihiwa kasi ako ng sibuyas... nakatoka kasi ako sa paghiwa ng mga rekado sa lahat ng ihahanda para sa new year's eve... bale... pizza, iskabeti(spaghetti), roasted chicken (kinatay nila daddy si mulawin, yung alaga kong manok... huwaaaaah!!!), ube halay, salad, at hinde ko na matandaan... akala nga namen eh ituh yung pinakamahirap nameng new year.. kasi ala talaga kame ngayon... medyo taghirap... kasi naka-leave si mommy sa work dahil sa masteral nya... yung pension naman ni daddy sa june pa maaayos... so sobrang hirap talaga.. pero hinde... at hinde ko ren alam kung saan nakuha ng mommy ko yung perang pinanghanda namen... welll contribution pala namen ng ate ko yung pizza... home-made... nakapag-decide na talaga kame na hinde na kame magpapaputok this year... kasi... mas better pa raw kung food na lang ang pagkakagastusan namen... kesa paputok... so ayun... hinde na... in short... whole day kameng nagluluto ng mommy at ate ko...

ang baet ng suncellular... kasi... yug call limit nila na 15 minutes... naging 30 minutes... 30 minutes kameng magkausap ni michael... as in... pero kulang pa... sana kasama ko sya habang sinecelebrate ang paghihiwalay ng '04 at '05... pero ok lang... at least our hearts are tied... naks... nyahaha...

11pm na... nakapagbigay na kame ni ate ng food sa kapitbahay... aba't ala pa ren ang magaling kong kapatid... yung gf nya na soon to be sister ko na ren na si ate luz... nagpapanic na at tawag na ng tawag sa bahay just to check on him... at ang mabaet kong kuya... dumating ng 11:40... may dala dalang 4 na fountain at sandamakmak na lucis... oh di ba... kahit papano... meron naman kaming pa-ilaw man lang... at least... nai-celebrate namen ang new year the way we always do... masagana naman... after ng putukan... ayun... natagpuan ko na naman ang sarili ko na umiinom ng gamot sa hika... ehe... what's new... every new year naman inaatake ako ng hika noh... tapos ayun kainan na... tawanan... at syempre... mawawala ba sa pamilya namen ang barahan at asaran?... at natapos ang gabing ito na naghuhugas ako ng mga pinagkainan... ehe...

at around 1am... syempre... mawawala ba ang bondingan ng ng tropa ko... HINDE!!! naginuman kame until around 3am lang ako... kasi takot ako... may isa kasing sumabit eh... hinde ko naman sya close... baka mamaya gahasain pa aku nun... ako lang kasi yung only gurl na natira sa tropa ko dito sa laguna... kaya ayun... red horse lang naman yung ininom namen.. at hinde ren naman ako nakarame... 2 bote lang... tapos nun... masaya naman yung kwentuhan... kulitan pa ren... at ayun nga... kinukulet ako nung "new guy" edgar yung name... actually crush ng ate ko yun noon eh... nung babae pa ate ko... eh kaso ako naman ang kinakarir ngayon... at ayoko naman noh... kasi may michael go na ako... ehe...(sabe ko ayoko na sa chinese eh!!!) ehe... based from experience ba?... mga intsik nga naman oo... ehe... ayun... umuwe ako mga 3:30... at ayun.. bagsak ang lolah mo... ehe.. hinde na nagawang magsuot ng pantulog.. naghubad ng pants at shirt... including the bra... at natulog na... haha... senglot nga...

nagising ako kaninang umaga mga 12:30... ehe tanghali na pala.. at sandamakmak na text ang cel ko from michael... nagpapanic na nga yung mister ko... kaya mahal na mahal ko yun eh... ehe... yun muna siguro sa ngayon... feeling ko nga sobrang haba na nito eh... as in... pero hinde pa naman yata itu yung pinakamahaba kong post eh... yata?.. ehe... yung lang.. at happy new year ulet sa mga masusugid na dumadaan sa aking vlog na nagiging diary na... ehe... peace out!!!

naisip ko lang...

2004-12-30T16:44:00.000-08:00

naisip ko lang... habang kumakaen ako kanina... panu kaya pag nag-asawa na ako... pag nagkaanak na ako... anu kaya ihahanda ko sa mesa namen?... katulad den ba ng mga pagkaeng kinakaen ko?... gulay, isda, karne at kung anu-anu pa... naisip ko... panu yung mga taong maaarte kumaen... panu kaya pag nagkaanak na sila... magagawa pa kaya nilang mag-inarte sa pagkaen?... meron ayaw ng gulay... yung isa naman vegetarian daw sya... yung isa hinde kumakaen ng karne... merong allergic daw sa seafoods... at meron namang likas na maarte lang talagang kumaen... naisip ko kasi... na kung anu yung kinakaen mo ngayon... yun den yung ihahanda mo sa future family mo...

kasi ganito yun... meron akong friend... itago na lang naten sya sa pangalang crizza... ehe... well ayun nga... nakasabay ko sya kumaen sa mcdo... tapos napansin ko hindi nya halos ginalaw yung chicken nya... habang ako ayun... busy sa pagsimot nung chicken ko... tinanong ko sya baket hinde na nya ginalaw yung chicken nya... ang sagot nya saken... kasi nakita na raw nya yung buto... isang malaking "NGYAK!"... di ba?.. eh panu pagnagkaanak na sya at ganun den ang way ng pagkaen ng manok ng anak nya?... di ba?... sayang naman yung binayad ng 70 pesos para sa chicken meal... and im sure na no choice sya kung hinde simutin yun... di ba?...

meron pa... one time nagdala ako ng steamed vegies... yun ang pinapapak ko... tapos there's this friend of mine na vegetable hater... she asked me what i was eating... nung sinabe kong sigarilyas... bigla ba namang nag-act ng "yuck"... manganingani kong isuklob sa kanya yung kinakaen ko eh... ka-badtrip... imagine... panu lalaking malusog yung magiging anak nun kung hinde sya maghahanda ng gulay?... di ba?.. at panu kung hilig ng mapapang-asawa nya eh gulay... di ba?...

wala lang... naisip ko lang talaga yan... kainis kasi yug mga maaarte sa pagkaen... kasi ako allergic ako sa crabs, shrimps, and other shell creatures na kinakaen... pero hinde naman ako nag-iinarte na katulad nila noh... haaay... ala lang... ang hirap na nga ng bansa naten mag-iinarte pa sa pagkaen?!..

trip

2004-12-30T16:15:00.000-08:00
road trip at food trip

yesterday... my mom woke us up at around 2:30 in the morning to get ready for our trip to zambales... we will be attending 2 weddings, reunion and a wake... at the car... i sat at the back of the driver's seat... coz i found it comfortable sitting there... i thought i ould be asleep the whole trip.. (i only had 1 hour and 30 minutes of sleep) but instead... i was wide awake joking around with my family... and looking outside my window... i dont know why i wasn't sleeping... but i can feel my head aching a little...

we arrived zambales at around 9 in the morning... first we went to the iba... dinala namen yung dad ko para magpa-tandok... (tandok-isang healing process para sa mga nakagat ng asa ng ng kunganu-anu pang may rabies... isang way den ito para tanggaling ang maduming dugo sa katawan) at ayun nga... medyo nakaka-brat kasi ang init... tapos ang kipot pa nung daan... pero ok lang... after nun... punta na kame sa first wedding... nainis lang ako... sa reception... hinde ako nakakaen ng dessert... kainis... tapos punta na kame sa reunion... haaay... at syempre... nakatikim sila ng pamatay na "crazy for you" ko... kasi dapat per family daw may representative na kakanta... witness si poch nun... kasi kausap ko sya sa cel habang kumakanta ako...

then we went to the next wedding and my pants was already tighter than it was when i wore it... imagine... 2 handaan na yung pinuntahan namen... haaay... this time... may dessert na... at syempre yun ang inupakan ko ng kaen... haaay... sobrang dameng nangyare ngayong araw.. including yung kulitan namen ng cuzins ko... tsaka ni jon... my ever favorite cuzin... ehe... basta favorite ko sya... kame kasi magkalapet ng age sa 13 na magpipinsan...

after nun... punta na kame sa lamay ng 2nd cousin ng lolo ko... at ayun... hindi ako bumaba.. kasi sabe ko sa sarili ko... yung lolo o ang huling taong makikita ko sa loob ng kabaong... ayokong tumingin sa iba... unless close family ko... tapos nun... uwe na kame...

laugh trip

pauwe na kame... sa tingin nyo ba makatarungang sa likod ako ng adventure pasakayin?!!!... gawin daw ba akong bagahe at sa likudan pasakayin?... kasama ang mga pinya?... grabe ha... ilang tusok ang inabot ko sa pinyang yun... lech!... sa sobrang hilo ko sa likod... ayun.. mula pampanga tollgate hanggang sa garahe namen tulog ako... as in... sobrang kahilo kasi eh... 5pm nagta-travel na kame... nakarating kame ng bahay 12 midnight... hindi ren kasi makatarungan yung tarfic!... inis talaga... hinde pa kame nakapag-usap ni michael... kasi hina signal sa province... ala pa ako load... pag minalas malas ka nga naman talaga oo... nyahaha... yun muna... para sa trip na ituh... kanya kanyang trip lang naman yan eh... baho lang trip ko ngayon...

baket?...

2004-12-30T15:10:00.000-08:00
God's punishment

"as of this morning, the number of casualties the giant waves by the intensity 8.9 earthquake already reached 80,000..."

this was the first thing i heard when i woke up this morning... sobrang nagulat ako... kasi nung kahapon lang sa newspaper 29,080 pa lang yung casualties... tapos kaninang umaga biglang 80,000 na... damnshit talaga... sobrang affected ako as in.. kasi hinde naman makatarungan yun... although malaki ang naitulong nun sa pagbaba ng population... haaay... i wasn't expecting that this whole thing was that serious... kasi nung mga unang araw 2000 pa lang yung casualties... "sabe ko grabe ang dameng namatay..." knowing na sa 5 bansang biktima... ok na yung bilang na yun... but when i heard na 12000 sa sri lanka pa lang yun... dun na ako naalarma... and realized... god, this really is a serious thing...

naisip ko lang... why does it always have to fall before christmas or before new year... all of these... the quezon and aurora landslides... remember the "rizal day bombing"?... such accidents that killed a lot of people... siguro pinapaalala ni god na there's more important than celebrating this season... people are forgetting about the true meaning of christmas... not just christmas... siguro kasi sobrang watak-watak na talaga tayo... because of our faith... haaay... isa lang naman tayo ng diyos eh... iba-iba lang talaga ng paniniwala... baket ba kailangang may mangyari pang ganito bago naten marealize ang mga bagay-bagay na mas importante pa kesa sa mga materyal na bagay na ginawa lang ng tao... let's just be thankful na hindi sa aten nangyare ang kalamidad na ito... but still our prayers will do a lot of help for those who are now tracking their way to heaven...

full of surprises

2004-12-28T02:31:00.000-08:00
familiar place

early this morning... by brother woke me up to prepare breakfast for him... after that... he asked me to join him sa paghatid dun sa bestfriend nya sa batangas... hmmm... sound familiar?... yeah... batangas nga... but i dont know the exact name... ang alam ko lang... medyo kaduluhan na yun... basta dun na yun... may kasama kasing baby yung bestfriend ni kuya... si dikong... bale dala namen yung sasakyan... kasama yung wife ni dikong... tsaka yung 2 months old nilang baby na si anton... weird nga eh... kasi sa ultrasound gurl yung babay... kaya nung pinanganak... yung andrea... naging anton... oh di ba?... back to what i was saying... ayun... hinatid namen sila dikong sa batangas... mga 12:30 na kame nakarating dun... at ayun... medyo kakapagod yung byahe... pero ok lang... basta may kasama kameng baby... pagkahatid namen kela dikong... pinabaunan pa kame nila dikong ng vegies tsaka pakwan... oh di ba?... yun lang naman... share ko lang... masaya lang kasi yung trip namen... kahit medyo nakakatulog ako...

effects of kitchie nadal in my life

haaay... i dont kung anu meron si kitchie that really caught my attention... she is the first filipino female solo artist that i admired!! loved... became my favorite... and been mad about... as in... the first was britney spears... well she still is the best for me... but when kitchie started doing solo... haaay... i just love that girl... lets jot down the effects of being an addict to britney and kitchie...

britney:
@ i grew my hair longer than the usual (because of the video "sometimes")
@ i used that furry ponytail and started making some pigtails
@ i wore miniskirts back in highschool
@ memorized every dance step of her new video
@ almost dyed my hair and had some bangs

pathetic noh?... eto mas pathetic...

kitchie:
@ i started wearing dark colored top
@ i cute my hair shorter than i was supposed to(bawal kasi sa dance troupe namen mas maikli sa shoulder eh)
@ nilipat ko bracelets ko sa left
@ bumalek ako sa pagsusuot ng earl earrings
@ i started reading stuffs about psychology
@ balak kong dumihan yung sasakyan namen (para katulad nung kay kitchie... rugged
@ i started tying my hair like i didn't used a comb(basta maitali look)

oh di ba?... haaay... pero un lang naman eh... im still the same old me!!

pond of boredom

2004-12-27T19:52:00.000-08:00
same ground

my love, its been a long time since i cried and left you out of the blue
its hard thinking you the way when i never wanted to
self-denial is a game its strange i never would want until there was you

coz i have learned that love is beyond what human can imagine
the more it clears the more i gotta let you go

but now i dont understand why im feeling so bad now
when i know it was my idea
i could've just denied the truth and lied
why am i the only one standing, stranded on the same ground

my love, its been a long time since i cried and left you out of the blue
its hard thinking you the way when i never wanted to
self-denial is a game its strange i never would want until there was you

coz i have learned that love is a word gets thrown a little bit too much
the best excuse to fill the infinite abyss i never ever have to be

but now i dont understand why im feeling so bad now
when i know it was my ide
i could've just denied the truth and lied
why am i the only one standing, stranded on the same ground

if all else fail, would you be there to love me?
when all else fail, would you be brave to see right through me?

last song syndrome ko na tong song na to simula nung christmas... masaya naman yung christmas ko... i recieve a perfume from my future sister-in-law, a gucci wrist watch from my ninang in australia, a nemo towelette from greg... not that much for this christmas... i know... lahat ng tao cost-cutting... pero masaya pa ren... at least nairaos namen yung pasko na kumpleto kame... may additional pa... i have michael... oh di ba?... hmmm... i just miss my friends... yung after ng noche buena magkukumpulan kame nila monique,greg,gervic,ako... minsan pag pinayagan bestfriend kong si beng nakakasama sya sa pagtambay namen sa deck nila gervic... chitchat lang... nung nagbinata at nagdalaga na... may kasama nang toma at yosi... masaya... pero ngayon... 3 na lang kameng natira... wala na si monique... nasa quezon city na... si beng naman may saket... anu na bang nangyayare sa pasko ng barkada ko... sana sa new makunpleto ulet kame... maulet namen yung firat sunrise of the year na magkakasama kame sa deck ng bahay nila gervic... kahit mga senglot na at bangag... basta magkakasama... nakahiga sa ilalim ng kalawakan... haaay... i miss them all...

*...as we go on we'll remember all the times we have together, and as our lives change from whatever, we will still be friends forever...

just a happy day...

2004-12-23T04:31:00.000-08:00
an early responsibility

hmmm... remember michael?... the one i was talking about the last time... he was a great person... ang nakakatuwa pa sa kanya... he knowshow to balance his time with his son and me...oh di ba?... kasama talaga ako... ako na daw ang future mom ni little michael... haaay... know what... ngayon ko na lang ulet na-feel toh... iba dun sa mga fling-flingan ko... in short masaya ako... as in...

EB, EB, EB!!!

ang mga hindi umattend mga busangot kayong lahat... pero masaya naman... una papunta kame ni raffy...kasi sabay kameng pumunta... tapos...dumating kame mga around 4pm... balak namen mga 6pmpa kame magpapakita kasi sabe ko kay JOPET aka poch na hindi ako pupunta... nyahaha... and naniwala si ungas... nyahaha... pero dahil sa hindi ko matiis ang mga friends kong loyal sa EB... ayun... nagpakita na kame ni raffy... after that... mga around 5pm... ala pa ren dumating so we decided to eat na... nagpunta kame sa foodcourt.... and had our meal there... 3 kame na nag-chicken company, si raff nag-jollibee, si she nag-henlin... ang lolah mo... diet ang naganap... nyahaha... then dumating si iceman... tapos si punisher... at syempre... papahuliba ang milkshake ni she... dumating si louie after 48 years... at take note syaden ang pinaka-maagang nagpaalam... dahil may work daw sya ng 9pm... yun ang simbolo ng KJ!!! nyahaha... nagpa-picture kame... at syempre ang lake ng kasalanan ko kay iceman... dapat around 6:30 uuwe na sya... i asked him to stay until 8pm para naman makapagbonding... pero dahil satagal ng pagdevelop nung picture sa tronics... umabot kame ng around 9pm... nyahaha... buti nga at hinde nagalet... pero feeling ko konti na lang sasapakin na ako nun... nung umalesna si iceman... nagdinner kame sa mcdo... at syempre... anu pabang order ko... twister fries and mcfloat... yum,yum!!! si punisher ang laking tao... literal... matangkad at malaki ang katawan... at dahil nagbubuhat sya... syempre sinamantala ko na anga pagkakataon at nagtanung ng mga bagay-bagay tungkol sa pagpapalaki ng katawan... uwian time na... si punisher (jhayr) papuntang monumento... si raffy naman pa-buendia... si mikki and jopet sabay pauwe ng cavite... kame naman ni she sabay sya alabang lang... tapos ako diretso na nang laguna... masaya naman yung EB kahit papano... kahit ala masyado pumunta... pero ok lang... yun lang...

masaya lang ako...

masaya lang ako kasi i found michael go... instant mommy ang drama ng lolah mo... nyahaha... pero ok lang... saya ko kasi nakakuha na ako ng album ni kitchie nadal... tapos nakabili pa ako ng video ng message in a bottle tsaka ever after... oh di ba?... mababaw lang akong tao eh... masaya na ako sa mga simpleng bagay saundong ibabaw...

eto na naman...

2004-12-14T17:50:00.000-08:00
confused

hindi ko alam kung baket hindi ko tinanggap yung proposal ni jeff... when all this time i was waiting for it... after 11 months of waiting... he finally did came back... pero hindi ko alam kung maniniwala ako eh... ewan ko ang gulo... hindi ko na talaga alam kung anung problema nitong lecheng utak or pusong toh!!

unusual thing

may nakilala akong guy... michael is his name... from bataan... we met lang thru text... at syempre dahil na naman sa sun... may nagbigay daw sa kanya... guy named kriselle... at ayun na nga... i admit medyo interesting yung buhay nya... he's just 19 years old... pero parang sobrang dami na nyang pinagdaanan... he was some kind of a computer freak/genius... na nagawa nyang mang-hack ng bangko... and he was jailed for 5 months... kaya sya napadpad ng bataan because of that... kaya ren sya iniwanan ng asawa na na hindi naman sila kasal... he already have a 3 years old son named after him... michael christian... basta... sobrang interesting talaga... another guy to fit my description of "matinong gago"...

basta for the mean time enjoy na lang muna ako... no commitments... basta go lang ng go...

*evrything that God allows to come our way is with a purpose. He uses even the greatest error and the deepest hurt to mold us into a person of worth and value...

baket ganun?!!

2004-12-12T18:06:00.000-08:00
MY ONLY VICE

everybody knows that dancing... kahapon someone recommend me sa siena college para magturo ng cheering... ayaw akong payagan ng daddy ko kasi daw baka mapahamak ako sa mga pinaggagagawa ko... hallo!!! magtuturo ako ng sayaw... anu namang ikakapahamak ko dun... pasalamt nga sila at hindi ako nagda-drugs... hindi ako pakawala... haaay... ang gulo talaga nila... although sometimes dancing really affects my studies... kasi if i were to choose dancing or studying... no second thought i will choose dancing... haaay... baket ba hindi nila maintindihan na yun yung makakapagpasaya saken?!...

SURPRISE GUEST

last night... i though it would be just another ordinary night... ako nakahiga na ng 9pm at matutulog ng mga 1-2am... pero hinde... mga around 8pm... jeff was here... yes... jeff... as in si jepoy... bwisit lang talaga si poch at feeling ko may nabasang text si jeff galing kay poch... kasi lumabas ako para bumili ng softdrinks... pagbalek ko... hawak na nya yung cel ko.. eh hilig pa naman makielam ng cel nun... basa ng messages... ultimo incoming messages pinapakielaman... tinanong nya kasi ako kung sino daw yung poch... baket daw ako minumura... haaay... feeling ko nga na-bored sya dito sa bahay kasi hawak nya lang yung cel ko the whole time na nandito sya... 12 midnight na kaya umuwe... kasi nasa laguna den kasi yung family nya... sinamantala na daw nya yung oras... maniniwala ba ako when he told me he just missed me and wanted to see me?... haaay... naku... lech talaga... bakit ba ganun... when it rains it pours... pero may time naman na drought talaga... lech talaga oh!!

*its tough to stay single in this world where everybody expects you to be with someone. but staying single is not about having no choice, rather its an opportunity to make intelligent choices...

EB! EB! EB!

2004-12-11T09:45:00.000-08:00
FILM CLASS

what's new?... i was late again... my class starts at 8am and i arrived at around 9am... astiiig di ba?... pero i did not miss that much naman... siguro yung fore lecture... pero naumpisahan ko naman yung film showing... after nun pumunta na ako sa EB... hindi na ako nakapagpa-hula eh...

ON THE WAY

at first i was really scared coz its my first time to go to dasmariñas cavite... so medyo madali akong nag-panic... nung nakakita na ako ng walang katapusang palayan... dun na nag-start ang pagpapanic ko... to the point na naiiyak na talaga ako habang kausap sa fon si mikki... kakahiya... yung katabi kong guy sinasabihan ako na makakarating naman ako ng maayos sa SM dasma... nyahaha... at ayun nga nakarating naman ako...

DIZZIZIT!!

ang mga loko... kausap ko si poch... inikutan ako para hinde ko sila makita... imagine... ang lalaking mga tao sa tingin mo makakaligtas sila sa laki ng apperture ng mata ko... nyahaha... masaya... we ate lunch sa shakey's kung saan hanggang ngayon eh ang bigat pa ren ng tyan ko dahil sa kinaen ko... nagpa-picture kame... ia-upload ko sya someday this week... hmmm... masaya... tawanan... the usual EB... masaya lang kasi nandun si mikki & franz... sad part... kelangan umales ni franz ng maaga kasi magche-check pa sya ng papers... nyahaha... so naiwan kameng tatlo, poch, mikki & i... nanood kame ng "SAW" akala ko horror sya... pero pramis!!! ang sarap kumaen ng dinuguan sa sobrang grouse ng movie... ngyay!... as in... kakadiri... but it was a good movie... film critic daw oh!!... nyahaha...

GOING HOME

we decided to go home (kasi takot akong maligaw!!) so hinated nila ako somewhere im really not that familiar... pero sabe ni mikki lasalle dasma daw... pero eto... ok naman at nakauwe ako ng buhay...

*friends are the most precious things God ever gave you, so make sure you'll take care of them...

another day

2004-12-10T13:47:00.000-08:00
1 message recieved

"when i was young, i made a vow never to be with anyone until i found my ideal guy... well, i found him... but sadly, he was already with his ideal gurl..." ='(

a friend text me this quote while i was tracking my way to school today... it made me realize one thing... my ideal guy really existed... sad part... i wasn't his ideal gurl... lahat ng hinahanap ko nasa kanya... and sobrang swak sya sa definition ko ng "matinong gago"... pero we're friends... at yun naman ang kainaman nun...

yesterday... my friends (ge & crizza) and i were having this crazy talk about our past relationships... then napunta yung usapan sa destiny... may pinaniniwalaan sila na yung lines daw sa gilid ng kamay determine kung ilang beses ka magmamahal... si ge 4 yung lines... and his boyfriend now is the 4th one... oh di ba ang saya... sila nang dalawa ang meant... si crizza 2 lang yung lines... naka-isang bf na sya... and sabe ren ng manghuhula sa kanya... yung next bf nya... yun na yung last... ang nakakapagtaka lang is saken 2 lang yung nakalagay... sabe nila baka yung 2 lines na yun meaning 2 lang beses lang ako magmamahal ng totoo... eh kung ganun nga... wala pa reng kasiguraduhan yun?... hmmm... mukhang matatagalan ah... haaay naku... bahala na nga si Papa God saken... alam naman nya kung anu yung makakabuti para saken eh...

compliment or insult

"study hard!"

nakasalubong ko si brandy (kuya ng bestfriend kong si greggy) when i was walking papunta sa sakayan ng tricycle... sinabi nya saken toh... kasi naka-uniform ako... i dont know if its a compliment or an insult... kasi undergraduate sya... napang-asawa nya yung close friend ko nung elementary... and sa street namen... ilan na lang kame nag-aaral... lalo tuloy akong nalungkot... thinking na yung mga ka-batch ko eh ga-graduate na this schoolyear... my bestfriend beng will be graduating this month... eh ako?... next schoolyear pa... 2006 pa... haaay... nate-tempt na akong mag-work... gusto ko nang mag-audition sa mga kung anu-anung dance groups... pero ala ako magawa... i want to finish college... i want to have a degree.. lech naman oh... baket kasi nagloko ako ng 1 year eh... syado ko lang siguro mahal anbg pagsasayaw... na lahat kaya kong talikuran pagdating sa sayaw...

*those who chose to end their life is not worthy to love and be loved..." -forever in my heart

friends

2004-12-10T11:48:00.000-08:00
MABOTENG USAPAN

hinde kame nag-class sa advertising management kasi our prof wasn't feeling well... so ayun nagkayayaan mag-inuman sa may tapsi sa asturias... bale ako si krystal aka cheddarcheese, ako aka miracle whip, gen aka lady's choice and ron... nung una ok pa... kulitan... tapos medyo tinatamaan na... medyo sobrang makulit na talaga... kung saan-saan na nakakarating yung usapan... from wholesome to baby oil... at kung anu-anu pa...

segway... may ginawa si ron sa sisig namen... nilagyan nya ng calamansi, hot sauce at beer... medyo awkward kung iisipin but astiiig yung lasa... panal!!! ehe...

back to what i was saying... we stayed until around 7:30 kasi gagawa pa kame ng script for tomorrow's class... pero dumaan kame sa fudge sa españa before umuwe... actually... kame lang pala ni ron... takot nga ako kasi nag-drive pa si ron... eh naka-inom... pero ok naman... naka-uwe pa ako ng buhay di ba?...

naisip ko lang... habang nagku-kuwento si ron about sa mga pagtatalo nila ng gf nya... (now his ex.) na-realize ko... baket may mga babae na nagagawang manakit?... yung as in pisikal na pananakit... sampal, kalmot, suntok, as in literal na pananakit... eh baket naman ako hinde?... kahit anung gusto ko nang suntukin yung mga naging past bf ko... hindi ko magawa... pag nag-aaway kame na talagang nagkaka-ngitngitan na kame... naiiyak na lang ako sa inis... or tatahimik ako pipikit or sisigaw... haaay... baket nga ba?..

sige yun na muna...

*not all the time jealousy is a sign of love rather its a sign of insecurity...

good evening!

2004-12-09T18:44:00.000-08:00
UNEXPECTED SICKNESS

kagabe late na ako natulog.. mga 2am na ren yun... kaya eto... nilagnat ang lolah mo... narealize ko lang... huwag pilitin ang sarili sa mga bagay na hindi sanay ang katawan... kaya ayan... magpapasko na ngayon pa ba ako magkakasaket... haaay... may EB pa sa saturday... tapos yung kitchie nadal pa... haaay... anu nang gagawin ko?!... ayoko magkasaket noh... hmmm... pwede na kaya itong dalanghita na kinakaen ko?... lech... nagdi-dilirio na ako sa mga pinagsasasabe ko...

AGAIN

as i said... magkausap kame ni ex #7 kanina sa YM... and ayun... nagpaparamdam na naman.. he asked meto go out on a date... pero hindi ko alam kung sasama ako... ganun naman yun eh pag malungkot... ako ang takbuhan... pero friendly date lang naman daw eh.. pero hindi ko pa sinasabi sa kanya yung decision ko... kasi hinde pa ako makapagdecide... nyahaha... i really wanna go out with him... but there's something na pumipigil... haaay... papahinga na nga ako... baka matuluyan pa tong saket na ito... mahirap na... mapurnada pa lahat ng lakad ko...

*our hearts are restless until they find thee..."

good afternoon

2004-12-09T14:02:00.000-08:00
remembering how stupid i am last week... umiiyak-iyak pa ako papunta sa bilihan ng tuknene, sa ilalim ng central station ng lrt, habang sinasabi saken ni poch yung kung anu-anu nyang haka-haka... ngayon... natatawa na lang ako... hindi ko na sya masyado hinahanap... hindi na ako naiiyak masyado... konti na lang... feeling ko kasi pinaglaruan lang yung feelings ko... na yun naman ang labas talaga... pero... naintindihan ko sya... SIGURO malungkot lang sya... SIGURO he just miss her... SIGURO he just have to let the feelings flow... haaay... boys naman talaga oo...

change topic... kausap ko ngayon yung ex ko... nyahaha... haaay naku... its raining men!!!... kala mo naman kung sinong maganda... nyahaha... hmmm... well at least they remember me... ex #1 is asking for a reconciliation... ex #4 nagkabalikan at muling nagkahiwalay... ex #7 eto at nagpaparamdam na naman... at eto na nga... haha... ang haba ng hair ko!!! ayoko na nga...

pasok na ako sa class... spanish class pa naman yun... hindi pa ako nakakapag-aral... adios!!!...

*hwag nyong kakalimutan na mahal na mahal ko si kitchie!!! ngyahaha!!!

good morning!!!

2004-12-09T11:33:00.000-08:00
an eye contact with a well-known-stranger

last november 29, when *o*** and i went to glorietta... we were walking side by side, holding hands... nakita ko si JONG HILARIO... as in yung ultimate crush ko sa streetboys next to my dreamguy (coz i dreamt of him even before i watched him sa eat bulaga) Danilo Barrios Jr... pathetic noh?... ngyaha... natuwa lang ako kasi as in eye contact ituh... from 10 feet away hanggang sa magkatapat na kame... we stared at each other... syempre ang lolah mo nag-maganda and smiled... at syempre montek na akong dagukan nung ka-date i mean kasama ko... nyahaha...

rational psychology class

hindi naman yata makatarungan ang 100 items para sa quiz di ba?... although madali sya... ang gusto nung prof nameng may tengteng eh 30 minutes lang namen sasagutan... what duh?!... ok lang sya?... tapos naglecture pa ang lolo mo... as in... kabanas talaga... tinext ko na lang friends ko... kasi medyo inis na yung araw ko eh... at ang masaklap pa dun... nag-overtime pa sya... ala naman sya sinabi kundi... "mga putangina ga tarantado hangal!!!" with feelings pa talaga yun ha... as in!!! medyo katawa-tawa hitsura nya... pramis!!

research on the major field class (thesis)

eto pramis... ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganung klaseng ginaw... exage yung aircon sa classroom... parang feeling nila summer... hindi ako nakapag-notes dahil naninigas na yung mga daliri ko sa ginaw... 48 years den bago ako makarating sa room kaya kung sinu-sino ang nakakaladkad nung kasama ko sa pag-aakalang ako yung katabi nya... ngyakngyakngyak!!!... tapos ayun... inindian kame nung ka-group namen sa thesis... ta-tatlo na nga lang kame... haay naku talaga... pero ok lang... ok naman yung meeting namen with the adviser eh... konting revising na lang nung topic namen...

hanggang dito muna... kasi sobrang gutom na ako... excited na akong mag-mcfloat!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!

*nga pala... 3 times ko narinig yung "wag na wag mong sasabihin"... nyahahaha... as in!!!.

something something

2004-12-08T04:30:00.000-08:00
A FUNNY LOOK BACK

as i was jotting down my notebook, while in the bus, tracking my way to school this morning, kahit ala naman kame pasok sa uste i read all the stuffs i wrote about him... at first all of them are positive... like "he's damn cute!" and his name is written over and over in different kind of penmanship (na halos magkakapareho lang dahil likas na kapangitan ang sulat ko!..) i think to myself "how pathetic!!" as i turn the pages i found all his text messages which i wrote down para hindi masyadong nagfa-flood yung name nya sa inbox ko... all his lies... na nung una eh kinikilig-kilig pa ako... ngayon eh medyo nakakainis na kasi... alam ko na sa sarili ko... JOKE TIME LANG YUN!!... ngyaha..

BRATT ATTACK

ala naman masyado nangyari today... the usual gumising... naligo at pumunta na nang school... nung una badtrip-badtripan kasi inagawan kame ng kabilang dance troupe ng music... na supposedly "bright lights" by billy crawford... bumagsak tuloy kame sa "move your body" eh gusto ko nga maghip-hop eh... kainis talaga... nakagawa na ren ako ng steps tapos... argh!!... ok fine... pinagbigyan ko na sila... then start na kame ng praktis... calltime was 10am... i arrived at around 9:48am... yung iba dumating 11am na... tapos ang idadahilan is traffic!!! isa pa ulet argh!!... buti na lang ang nakakaen ako ng tuknene... tsaka alam ko na yung lyrics ng "over and over" by nelly and... someone... ehe hinde ko kilala eh... kaya medyo nakaltasan ang brattness ko...

"coz it's all in my head i think about it over and over again, and i can't keep picturing you with him, and it hurt so bad, yeah, coz it's all in my head i think about it over and over again, i replay over and over again, and i can't take it, i can't shake it, no..."

SENTI-SENTIHAN

pauwe na ako... because of the tiring praktis we had... naka-idlip ako... when i woke up... nasa muntinlupa na kame... and i already got 5 messages recieved... 1 from lance, 1 from poch, 1 from greg, 1 from roseann and 1 from clark... then i heard a familiar introduction... and yun nga... nalungkot na naman ako... kasi medyo senti yung song...

"how do you heal a broken heart that feels like it will never be this much again, i just can't let go, how do you heal a broken heart that feels like it will never love this much again... TOMORROW I'LL PRETEND TO LET YOU GO..."

i just remember the feeling of loneliness.. medyo korni... well not medyo... korni talaga... nyahaha... haaay... non-sense na naman tong mga pinagsususulat ko... kakanta na nga lang ako...

MATA - MOJOFLY

Kamusta na, nandyan ka pa ba
Wala na yatang magagawa kundi tumawa
Nandyan pa ba mga ala-ala
Ang tanging bagay na naiwan sa 'ting dalawa

'wag na paikutin ang isa't isa
Lahat ng bagay ay malinaw na
Hindi na rin kailangan pagpilitan pa
'di mo na kinakailangan pang magsalita

Chorus
Nakita ko na lahat ito
Pinahihiwatig ng mata mo
Salamat na lamang sa iyo

SUNTOK SA BUWAN - SESSION ROAD

Hindi mo ba alam
Damdamin ko'y pinagtakpan
Makasama ka'y suntok sa buwan

'Di mo nga alam
Mundo mo nga'y iyong tignan
Kung ganyan, walang pupuntahan

Hindi ko 'to gusto
Pero 'wag kang lalayo

Itanong mo sa akin
At tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin
Lahat ay gagawin

'Di mo napapansin
Kailangan mo akong dinggin
'Di habang buhay ika'y aantayin

Ito'y aking hiling
At sana naman ay tanggapin
Ng puso ko'y 'di nabibitin

JEEPNEY - SPONGECOLA

Bumaba ako sa jeepney
Kung saan tayo'y dating magkatabi
Magkahalik ang pisngi nating dalwa
Nating dalawa

Panyo mo sa aking bulsa
Ang amoy mo'y naroon pa rin
Tawa nati'y humahalay
sa init nating dalawa

Subalit ngayo'y wala na
Ikaw ay lumayo na

Naaalala ko ang mga gabing nakahiga sa ilalim ng kalawakan
Naaalala ko ang mga gabing magkatabi sa ulan

Kulay nang iyong ngiti
Tikwas ng iyong buhok
At ang lambot ng iyong labi
Iyong labi

Kahit anino mo sa malayo
Ay nais masulyapan
Upang mapawi
Ang lamig

*** today i don't get to think a lot about boys... especially him... nasabihan ko pa nga syang bading eh!!! ngyahaha...

realizations about the past...

2004-12-07T05:57:00.000-08:00
hmmm... for the 1st time this 2nd semester... nakinig akosa lecture namen sa literature... the topic was about hell... its levels... the purgatorio something... then ewan ko sa kadahilanan hindi ko matandaan oh dahil kakulitan ko sa text si poch eh nawala ako sa lecture... nagising na lang ako... my classmate was already talking about love...

"love is the source of every virtue"
"wrong love is the source of every vices"

hmmm... medyo (with an "O") parang totoo... hindi ko pa masyado naaanalyze... pero siguro mamayang gabi...

nga pala... i've talked to my ex about dun sa piercing na sinasabi ni poch... although hindi talaga kapani-paniwala pero hiningi nya yung new number ko... which is really impossible... coz after 7 months of no communication... alang nagbago sa voice nya... sa tono nya ng pakikipag-usap... only the feelings...

"i remember the boy but i dont remember the feeling anymore..."

para akong tanga... nung hindi sya nagpaparamdam nagluluksa ako... ngayong narinig ko na ulet yung boses ni jepoy... eto at acting strong naman ako... well siguro... over na yung puso ko... utak ko na lang talaga... dahil... deos ko... sa totoo lang talaga... nagmula na pamilya ko... si jepoy talaga ang pinaka-"TAO" sa lahat ng mga naging boyfriend ko...

haaay... actually... last night... nakabuo ako ng mga lyric poems... tsaka ko na ipo-post pag medyo matino na 'tong blog ko noh... haaay... naku, naku, naku...

isa pa ulet... nga pala... may katextmate ako... clark yung name... he seem to be interesting... kasi medyo malakas mambola eh... parang yung isang tao dun sa link ko... ehe... haaay naku... ang sarap mag-move on!!! ang gaan ng feeling...

till here... this biatch is already tired...

insensitive

2004-12-06T04:56:00.000-08:00
How do you cool your lips after a summer's kiss?
How do you rid the sweat after the body bliss?
How do you turn your eyes from the romantic glare?
How do you block the sound of a voice you'd know anywhere?

Oh I really should have known by the time you drove me home,
By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual good-byes.
By the chill in your embrace and the expression on your face,
That told me you might have some advice to give ...
On how to be...
Insensitive.

How do you numb your skin after the warmest touch?
How do you slow your blood after the body rush?
How do you free your soul after you've found a friend?
How do you teach your heart it's a crime to fall in love again?

Oh you probably won't remember me, it's probably ancient history,
I'm one of the chosen few who went ahead and fell for you.
I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch, I fell too fast, I feel too much.
I thought that you might have some advice to give ...
On how to be ...
Insensitive.

eto kinakanta ko ngayon... well can somebody just tell me how to be insensitive...

a big mistake

2004-12-04T20:44:00.000-08:00
why does it always have to be me?...
all the blame... ito na nga ba yung sinasabe ko eh...
kahit anu pa ang paliwanag na sabihin ko... ako ang lalabas na masama...

syempre... ako yung bago... i get to get less trust...
a simple call for a simple conversation... then HE... ok... HE... made the moves...
i admit... i just got carried away... i'm really in a state of obsession...
obsession with the feeling of being loved... or being treated special...

alam ko sa ngayon... alam na nung gf nya...
masisisi ba nya ako?... nangyari na ang nangyari...
wala na akong magagawa... gustuhin ko mang bawiin yung mga nangyare...
wala... para saan pa?... sirang-sira na ako...
ako yung MANGAAGAW, KABIT, THIRD PARTY...
itawag mo na lahat ng itatawag mo saken...
alam ko naman yun ang iniisip mo... galet ka?... dont hide it...
nafi-feel ko naman eh... dont be such a hypocrite that you're not mad at me...
when all this time... you must be talkong to your bf...
na syang dahilan ng lahat ng ito...

kung hindi nya ginawa yun...
hindi magkakaganito...
hindi magiging magulo...

"naalala ko ang mga gabing, nakahiga sa ilalim ng kalawakan,
naalala ko ang mga gabing, nagkatabi sa ulan..."

last look

2004-12-03T01:43:00.000-08:00
Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go

as i was writing this one... im listening to this song... "the art of letting go"
a sign that i really must forget that freaky asshole... baket ba kasi di ko sya makalimutan...
i guess ito yung dapat kong gawin to completely forget him...

haaay,... ito na munafor the mean time...

the power of kiss

2004-11-30T21:39:00.000-08:00
"yes i remember boy coz after we kiss i can only think about your lips"

i've just been victimized by what i call the power of kiss...
we've known each other not that much... all i know is his name...
he likes onion rings at burger king... he loves twister fries dipped into mayonnaise...
he has a girl that is so far from her though love her so much... that's all...

infatuation it may seem... i cant deny the fact that im infatuated with this guy...
last night... i found myself crying while watching a looney toon series...
i just dont get it... why does he have to treat me that way?... or is it me to blame?...
he didn't even replied to all of the message i sent him... didn't answer my calls...
and finally cancelled my call... that was the time when i said to myself... this foolishness must stop...

but i really can't stop myself from thinking of those beautiful hours we spent together...
fooling around, that little talkies we had, his soft thin lips making butterfly kisses on my cheeks, those pair of eyes that everytime i look at them i melt and those sweet words saying "i will be here for you"...
where the fuck is he now?!!... i'm not saying that i dont care... truth is... im really worried...

i was afraid of kissing him... because i may end up being a fool... look at me now... im already being one...
i dont want to ruin the sweet times we are together... but its already ruined...

maybe im just being paranoid... maybe he's just doing something important...
like taliking to his gurl on the fon... chatting with her online... or whatever related to his gurl...
and now im being such a bitter bitch!... what the fuck am i saying?... when all i really want to say is...
i miss him... his voice... his eyes, his hand, his arms, his nose, his broad chest and his soft, thin lips...

look what his kiss have done to me...

such a confusing day...

2004-11-30T03:49:00.000-08:00
i was doing fine with my life when i woke up...
i was waiting for a message from HIM last night... but i guess he was too tired to press the keys of his fon... i understand...
from morning till now... i tried to contact him... but either he is still sleeping, he's fon is on silent mode, or out of service are... i understand...
but cancelling my call says it all... but instead of thinking what im thinking... i just thought... maybe he's doing something really important... or waiting for someone to call... and i was blocking his signal...

martyr may i seem to you... stupid... yes that's me...

falling again... for someone i barely even know... spending the best days with him... kahit bawal...
bawal?... because he's already committed... and i know it from the start... what i didnt know is that they're too serious about their relationship...

sometimes i get to think na panakip butas lang ako... dahil malayo yung mahal nya... at ako yung malapet sa kanya... pero payag naman ako... masaya ako eh... nakikita kong masaya ren naman sya... pero masakit isipin na kapag magkasama kame... dun lang nya ako naaalala... ayoko syang pag-isipan ng ganun... although hindi makatarungan yung paghintayin ako ng 2 hours... pero hindi ako nagalet kasi malakas nga naman talaga yung ulan... wawa nga sya eh... when he arrived at our meeting place... medyo basa pa yung shirt nya...

masaya ako pag kasama ko sya... hindi ko yun maikakaila... when my hands in his hands... when my arms' around his waist... when he's giving me butterfly kisses on the cheeks... damn... here i go again... losing myself to that guy... why does he have to be like that...

if ever he read this... he'll know exactly im talking about him... he'll feel what im feeling... but i want him to know... if he give US a chance... i wont let him go...

im alive again...

2004-11-27T07:23:00.000-08:00
i found someone again... but the problem is... she found her first... why do i have to come too late?...
that will make me a mistress or something...

pero pramis... iba toh...
like when we held hands lat night...
i felt electricity... haaay naku...

next time na lang ulet ako magpopost...
ala ako maisip eh...

my deathday!!!

2004-10-07T18:48:00.000-07:00

today is my deathday...
i just learned that the person who made me fall again will never be mine anymore...
all i want to do now is kill myself... but i know its wrong...
really,really wrong...
but im so depressed... so down... so broke...

damn!!! i hate myself... i hate myself everytime i'll fall easily...
punyeta kasi baket kelangan nya ako i-treat ng ganun!!!

today's another day!

2004-10-07T13:40:00.000-07:00
today's another day... im in front of the computer again...
dont know what to type... dont know what to do...
i just feel like updating ng f*ckin' blog...

anyway... im really not feeling well...
i wanna go somewhere where i can relax...
or maybe... i just want to see someone...

sometimes i find myself staring at people and following them as if i saw jepoy...
just like last night... i thought i saw jepoy...
same shirt, same height, same hair, same physique...
i really thought it was him... pero iba pala...
nagmukha lang akong tanga...

minsan tuloy naisip ko... tama nga ate ko...
obsessed na ako kay jepoy...
lahat ng mga manliligaw and makakarelasyon ko...
kino-compare ko kay jepoy...
di ko napapansin... pero siguro nga...
siguro kasi mahal ko pa si jepoy...
hindi ren eh... bitin lang siguro ako sa relationship namen...

well... tama na ang bitterness... gotta go to class na...

a day of a lonely bitch!!

2004-10-06T20:23:00.000-07:00
i really dont know what happened this day that i should be thankful...
1st.. its was hell raining... and i was wearing white pair of sneakers... kainis!!! AS IN!!
2nd... i waited for 3 long hours just to get my photos back from the printing station... when the guy told me it will only be just for an hour!!
3rd... i ws running late for my meeting at 4pm coz it was already 4:45... i already can hear my groupmates shouts from their text messages...
and lastly... livejournal is not functioning well!!! i really hate it when all the bad luck rain over me!!!... i feel like a jinx... damn it!!!

its whole damn day today for me... and i hate it... 3 finals in a day?!... what the?!... i will lose my mind already...

but thank GOD im so busy for these past few days... iw asn't able to think of that guy... that guy who broke me in two...

i guess that's the only good thing that happened to me today...